1
00:00:28,847 --> 00:00:30,930
All right, Susie, you ready?

2
00:00:31,016 --> 00:00:32,678
Move a little bit that way, darling.

3
00:00:32,768 --> 00:00:35,181
That's it. OK, on four.

4
00:00:36,522 --> 00:00:38,354
One, two, three, four.

5
00:00:39,816 --> 00:00:41,148
Stretch.

6
00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:44,690
Yes!

7
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,029
Round.

8
00:00:48,534 --> 00:00:51,652
<i>♪ You make me feel so happy</i>

9
00:00:51,745 --> 00:00:55,113
<i>♪ You make me feel so good</i>

10
00:00:55,666 --> 00:00:57,157
<i>♪ You make me feel like dancing</i>

11
00:00:57,251 --> 00:00:59,413
One, two, three, stretch.

12
00:00:59,503 --> 00:01:02,871
One two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

13
00:01:02,965 --> 00:01:04,957
Round.

14
00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:06,924
Two, three.

15
00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:10,879
One, two, cha-cha-cha.

16
00:01:10,973 --> 00:01:13,841
Very good. You're doing well.

17
00:01:13,934 --> 00:01:16,426
And again, one, two, three, stretch.

18
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,102
One, two, three, four.

19
00:01:18,188 --> 00:01:19,224
<i>♪ Happy, happy</i>

20
00:01:19,314 --> 00:01:20,350
Get your legs up.

21
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,521
<i>♪ Happy holidays</i>

22
00:01:21,650 --> 00:01:23,186
That's it.

23
00:01:23,318 --> 00:01:26,402
Stretch right up.
Like you stretch for sweets on the top shelf.

24
00:01:26,488 --> 00:01:27,820
<i>♪ Happy, happy, happy holidays</i>

25
00:01:27,906 --> 00:01:29,442
Cha-cha-cha.

26
00:01:31,201 --> 00:01:32,317
Very good.

27
00:01:32,411 --> 00:01:34,619
Come on. One, two.

28
00:01:34,705 --> 00:01:35,821
Whoo!

29
00:01:36,915 --> 00:01:38,827
Come on, enjoy it, girls!

30
00:01:38,917 --> 00:01:40,328
<i>♪ Why don't you take me</i>

31
00:01:40,419 --> 00:01:42,752
Right, hand on your hip like that.

32
00:01:42,838 --> 00:01:43,999
Yeah, that's it.

33
00:01:44,089 --> 00:01:45,705
Now the other one.

34
00:01:46,091 --> 00:01:48,048
Now wave with both hands.

35
00:01:48,635 --> 00:01:49,921
Right.

36
00:01:50,512 --> 00:01:51,969
That's it.

37
00:01:52,055 --> 00:01:54,889
Very good. Come on,
Laura, you can be leader now.

38
00:01:55,017 --> 00:01:56,258
Right out here.

39
00:01:56,351 --> 00:01:57,683
Keep to the edges, that's right.

40
00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,726
Let's have a bit of a bum swing from you.

41
00:01:59,813 --> 00:02:01,896
Above your head,
come on, hands up.

42
00:02:01,982 --> 00:02:03,564
<i>♪ You make me feel brand new</i>

43
00:02:03,650 --> 00:02:05,232
And swing those bums.

44
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:06,400
That's it.

45
00:02:06,486 --> 00:02:08,523
You're doing that thing
with your mum's windows.

46
00:02:08,614 --> 00:02:11,106
Right, and then you see your best friend,

47
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:15,159
so you're shouting out,
"Hi, it's me, I'm here."

48
00:02:15,245 --> 00:02:17,202
- Say hi.
- Hi!

49
00:02:18,832 --> 00:02:21,199
- Say, it's me.
- It's me.

50
00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:23,455
- I'm here.
- I'm here!

51
00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:26,879
- Give me a five pound note.
- Give me a five pound note.

52
00:02:26,965 --> 00:02:29,207
I wanna go and spend it on sweets.

53
00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:32,297
I thought that'd get you smiling.

54
00:02:32,387 --> 00:02:36,006
I thought you'd like that. Come on,
who's gonna be the leader now, then?

55
00:02:36,350 --> 00:02:37,807
All right, come on then.

56
00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:39,517
Time to go home.

57
00:02:40,312 --> 00:02:43,476
Not too much of a rush,
I don't want you tripping over.

58
00:02:43,565 --> 00:02:46,433
Right, get your coats and shoes
outside as usual.

59
00:02:46,526 --> 00:02:49,018
All right, do you wanna put
your little cardigan on, Susie?

60
00:02:49,112 --> 00:02:51,775
Put it on, cos you might get a little chill.

61
00:02:51,865 --> 00:02:55,950
Get your coats now. If you can't reach
your bags, I'll get them down.

62
00:02:56,036 --> 00:02:59,495
That's it, put your cardi on.
I hope your headache's better soon.

63
00:02:59,581 --> 00:03:02,415
- All right, bye, darling, bye.
- My bag's next door.

64
00:03:02,501 --> 00:03:04,618
Your bag's next door?
All right, don't worry.

65
00:03:04,711 --> 00:03:06,202
Whose is the green coat?

66
00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,764
- Innit hot?
- Gorgeous.

67
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:27,644
Tell you what, Andy,
you're lucky I'm not in the hospital.

68
00:03:27,734 --> 00:03:29,066
What?

69
00:03:30,696 --> 00:03:32,562
That door swung back,
nearly took me head off again.

70
00:03:32,656 --> 00:03:36,445
- It's the hinge, innit.
- Yeah. It's that catch. It's gone.

71
00:03:36,535 --> 00:03:38,367
I'll have a look at it later.

72
00:03:38,453 --> 00:03:40,115
It's lethal.

73
00:03:40,997 --> 00:03:43,205
Oh, I wish you'd do something
with this porch.

74
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,532
I will do.

75
00:03:44,626 --> 00:03:45,867
It's embarrassing.

76
00:03:45,961 --> 00:03:47,668
Just gotta get the rest of the timber,
that's all.

77
00:03:47,754 --> 00:03:49,791
You've been saying that for two years.

78
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:52,624
Take these boards to here,
hang trellis on the outside,

79
00:03:52,718 --> 00:03:56,052
slap a coat of white paint on it,
get some nice creepers, it'll look lovely.

80
00:03:56,138 --> 00:03:59,757
I don't want trellis, Andy,
it'll look like a Chinese restaurant.

81
00:03:59,850 --> 00:04:01,762
- Hello.
- Shut that door, it's freezing.

82
00:04:01,852 --> 00:04:04,435
- You've finished, have you?
- No, I'm still in the bath.

83
00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:06,638
- Wouldn't surprise me.
- Made a mess, have you?

84
00:04:06,732 --> 00:04:08,189
- No!
- No?

85
00:04:09,276 --> 00:04:10,437
Hello.

86
00:04:11,027 --> 00:04:12,893
- All right?
- Where you been?

87
00:04:12,988 --> 00:04:14,229
- Town.
- Hello, Nat.

88
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:16,314
- What you been doing?
- Shopping.

89
00:04:20,495 --> 00:04:23,408
- Want a little sandwich, Andy?
- Yeah, what you got?

90
00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:25,239
- Cheese toastie?
- Yeah, lovely.

91
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:28,542
Still got me glasses on.
I thought I was going blind.

92
00:04:28,628 --> 00:04:30,665
- Here you are.
- Ta-da, chocolate!

93
00:04:30,756 --> 00:04:33,965
- You're a chocoholic, you are.
- I could give it up tomorrow, no trouble.

94
00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:35,382
- Coffee?
- No, thanks.

95
00:04:35,469 --> 00:04:36,835
Please.

96
00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:38,756
Do you want a little sandwich, Nat?

97
00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:40,133
- Yeah.
- Do you want pickle?

98
00:04:40,223 --> 00:04:41,430
Course I want pickle.

99
00:04:41,516 --> 00:04:43,929
Gonna get out there this afternoon,
finish off that patio.

100
00:04:44,019 --> 00:04:47,262
- Don't give me a heart attack, Andy, please!
- I will! Make a start.

101
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:48,471
What d'you get, Nat?

102
00:04:48,565 --> 00:04:49,772
- A shirt.
- This it?

103
00:04:49,858 --> 00:04:50,974
- Yeah.
- Can I have a look?

104
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,308
If you want to.

105
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,442
It's nice.

106
00:04:54,529 --> 00:04:56,316
- Yeah, it's all right, innit?
- Yeah.

107
00:04:56,406 --> 00:04:58,068
Why d'you always get a man's?

108
00:04:58,158 --> 00:04:59,399
Cos I like 'em.

109
00:04:59,493 --> 00:05:00,904
Suits me, thanks a lot, Nat.

110
00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:02,030
Funny man.

111
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,156
It's not for me?

112
00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:04,828
No, it's not for you.

113
00:05:04,915 --> 00:05:06,872
Oh, shame,
thought me luck had changed.

114
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:09,575
You should get a nice blouse,
short sleeves.

115
00:05:09,669 --> 00:05:11,160
Show yourself off a bit.

116
00:05:11,254 --> 00:05:12,745
- Shut up.
- Well.

117
00:05:13,048 --> 00:05:14,505
Don't listen to her.

118
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,187
- Nat?
- What?

119
00:05:30,273 --> 00:05:31,809
- Did you get me those fags?
- No.

120
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,061
Why not?

121
00:05:33,151 --> 00:05:35,108
You wanna smoke,
you can get your own fags.

122
00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:36,857
Well, could you lend me some money?

123
00:05:36,947 --> 00:05:38,028
How much?

124
00:05:38,114 --> 00:05:40,322
- A tenner.
- What's it for?

125
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,400
- All right, a fiver.
- What d'you want it for?

126
00:05:42,494 --> 00:05:43,905
Mind your own business!

127
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,452
Suit yourself.

128
00:05:45,539 --> 00:05:48,247
- You'll be charging interest next!
- Yeah, it's a good idea.

129
00:05:49,334 --> 00:05:50,791
Capitalist!

130
00:05:51,962 --> 00:05:53,169
When'd you get that?

131
00:05:53,255 --> 00:05:54,996
This morning.
It's all right, innit?

132
00:05:55,090 --> 00:05:57,173
No, looks like a tea towel.

133
00:05:57,259 --> 00:05:59,125
Yeah, I was quite pleased with it meself.

134
00:06:02,889 --> 00:06:04,972
- Hey, Andy, guess what?
- What?

135
00:06:05,058 --> 00:06:08,017
I woke up this morning,
I felt a little bit wotsit, you know,

136
00:06:08,103 --> 00:06:12,063
and I thought to meself, "Oh, blimey,
don't tell me I'm in the family way."

137
00:06:12,148 --> 00:06:13,355
Jesus Christ!

138
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,148
What's "the family way" supposed to mean?

139
00:06:15,235 --> 00:06:16,567
You know what it means.

140
00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:18,485
No, I know what pregnant means.

141
00:06:18,572 --> 00:06:21,485
- You don't half talk some rubbish.
- Well, silly little saying.

142
00:06:21,575 --> 00:06:23,567
- Oh, shut up.
- You shut up.

143
00:06:24,619 --> 00:06:29,489
I was lying there, Andy, thought to meself,
"Aw, I'd love another little baby."

144
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:31,996
- You're too old to have a baby, ain't you?
- Course not!

145
00:06:32,085 --> 00:06:35,578
You may not be, I am.
You wouldn't see me for dust, I tell you.

146
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:38,422
Oh, don't, Andy, don't be rotten.

147
00:06:38,508 --> 00:06:40,249
Typical! Typical man!

148
00:06:40,343 --> 00:06:41,925
Shut up,
what d'you know about men?

149
00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:43,464
Enough.

150
00:06:43,555 --> 00:06:47,515
Anyway, I thought to meself, "Never mind,
I'll just have to wait till I'm a grandma."

151
00:06:47,601 --> 00:06:49,433
- You're gonna have a long wait.
- Yeah.

152
00:06:49,519 --> 00:06:50,851
- Eh?
- Who'd want them?

153
00:06:50,937 --> 00:06:52,519
Oh, that's nice.

154
00:06:52,606 --> 00:06:54,472
Stick a couple of brown paper bags
over their 'eads.

155
00:06:54,608 --> 00:06:56,600
We'd be able to flog 'em off cheap,
sight unseen.

156
00:06:59,863 --> 00:07:01,570
I'm not gonna waste my life.

157
00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:03,648
No? What you doing now then?

158
00:07:03,742 --> 00:07:06,359
Contributing a great deal,
sitting around on your arse all day.

159
00:07:06,453 --> 00:07:07,614
Well, I'm thinking about it.

160
00:07:07,704 --> 00:07:10,412
Thinking about it, that's easy,
anyone can do that,

161
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:11,488
it's doing it that's difficult.

162
00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:12,994
- Bollocks!
- Nicola!

163
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:16,001
Shame though, innit?

164
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,454
They were such lovely little dolly wotsits,

165
00:07:18,548 --> 00:07:20,835
sitting there in their matching outfits.

166
00:07:20,926 --> 00:07:25,011
My little Natalie and my little Nicola
and now look at 'em.

167
00:07:25,221 --> 00:07:26,803
Oh, get the sick bucket!

168
00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:29,052
And when you have a bath, Nicola,

169
00:07:29,142 --> 00:07:31,930
don't leave the towels
on the bathroom floor stinking wet.

170
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,139
Here we go!

171
00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:37,064
How many times have I got to tell you?
It's just two simple little movements.

172
00:07:37,651 --> 00:07:40,189
Down and up and pop it on the towel rail.

173
00:07:40,278 --> 00:07:41,985
Don't be patronising.

174
00:07:42,238 --> 00:07:44,901
And I won't tell you again
about using my cotton wool balls.

175
00:07:44,991 --> 00:07:46,823
Oh, don't be so selfish.

176
00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:48,947
What d'you want
two baths a day for anyway?

177
00:07:49,287 --> 00:07:50,823
What, are you taking their side now?

178
00:07:50,914 --> 00:07:54,328
I'm not taking anyone's side,
I'm just asking you a simple question.

179
00:07:54,584 --> 00:07:55,995
Yeah, well, don't!

180
00:07:57,295 --> 00:07:58,502
Here you are, And.

181
00:07:58,672 --> 00:07:59,879
Cheers.

182
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:02,748
- Here you are, Nat.
- Ta.

183
00:08:04,928 --> 00:08:06,669
Don't light that cigarette, Nicola,
we're eating.

184
00:08:07,013 --> 00:08:08,174
Don't eat.

185
00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:11,178
It's lunch time.
That's what you do at lunch time, eat.

186
00:08:11,351 --> 00:08:14,059
What's lunch time anyway?
It's only a convention.

187
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:17,183
Nicola, if you want to smoke
while we're eating, go up to your room.

188
00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:21,317
Anyway, if you smoked less and you ate more,
you wouldn't look like a skeleton.

189
00:08:21,653 --> 00:08:23,440
It's better than looking like
a beached whale.

190
00:08:23,905 --> 00:08:25,567
Oh, thank you!

191
00:08:27,242 --> 00:08:29,700
Anyway, your dad likes some meat
to grab hold of, of a night.

192
00:08:29,786 --> 00:08:33,325
- What, blubber?
- No, me little love handles.

193
00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,621
We got a set each, ain't we, Andy?

194
00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:40,168
You're disgusting.

195
00:08:40,463 --> 00:08:41,749
Oh, shut up!

196
00:08:42,674 --> 00:08:44,256
Those sandwiches stink.

197
00:08:44,843 --> 00:08:47,256
Nicola, I told you, if you don't like it,
you know what you can do.

198
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:49,007
- Yeah, well, I'm going.
- Go!

199
00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:51,339
- Well, go on then.
- In a minute!

200
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:52,927
Can't go, can you?

201
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,722
What's keeping you, Nicola, eh?

202
00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:58,179
She's bored.

203
00:08:59,065 --> 00:09:02,604
See, you wanna be with us,
so why don't you just act normal?

204
00:09:15,790 --> 00:09:17,281
- Andy?
- What?

205
00:09:18,418 --> 00:09:21,001
How about having a little go
at the patio today, please?

206
00:09:21,129 --> 00:09:22,210
Not today, Wen.

207
00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:24,038
- Why not?
- It's gonna rain, innit?

208
00:09:24,132 --> 00:09:25,794
Don't look like rain to me.

209
00:09:25,884 --> 00:09:28,843
I don't want to get all me sand and cement
out and have it piss down on me, do I?

210
00:09:29,012 --> 00:09:31,345
Well, have a go at the bathroom then,
finish off me tiling?

211
00:09:31,431 --> 00:09:32,592
Yeah, could do.

212
00:09:32,682 --> 00:09:35,220
- Really?
- Hang on, hang on.

213
00:09:35,351 --> 00:09:36,717
- What?
- Ain't got no grout.

214
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,389
Oh, typical.

215
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,561
I can get you grout.

216
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,763
- There you are.
- Eh?

217
00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:42,223
- From work.
- Today?

218
00:09:42,317 --> 00:09:44,274
No, not today, it's Sunday. Tomorrow.

219
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,601
Waterproof grout?

220
00:09:45,695 --> 00:09:48,779
Of course it's gonna be waterproof grout,
it's for a bathroom!

221
00:09:48,865 --> 00:09:50,652
There's grout and waterproof grout.

222
00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:52,153
Allow me to know.

223
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,905
Just make sure
you get waterproof grout.

224
00:09:53,995 --> 00:09:56,578
Don't panic, I'll get you waterproof grout.

225
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,530
Great. I'll do it next weekend.

226
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,908
Can I have that in writing please!

227
00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:04,291
I have to say, Wen,
this lamb is delicious.

228
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:06,205
Oh, is it? Good,

229
00:10:06,299 --> 00:10:09,007
and the tiles are in the cupboard
under the stairs, right?

230
00:10:09,928 --> 00:10:12,011
Nice and pink.
Beautiful, innit?

231
00:10:12,097 --> 00:10:13,213
Yeah, it's nice.

232
00:10:14,432 --> 00:10:16,139
Are you eating yours, missus?

233
00:10:16,226 --> 00:10:17,387
What's it to you?

234
00:10:17,477 --> 00:10:19,844
She cooked it, that's what it is to her.

235
00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,728
Shut up, goody-two-shoes.

236
00:10:21,815 --> 00:10:24,603
What's it like in the first class
dining compartment then?

237
00:10:24,734 --> 00:10:28,728
Listen, if I choose to eat in my own space,
that's my prerogative, right?

238
00:10:28,822 --> 00:10:31,610
Do you want a glass of low calorie H2O?

239
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,065
Just leave her alone.

240
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,492
Oh, there she goes.

241
00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:40,451
I see her in a horse.

242
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:41,623
Eh?

243
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,995
Chinese.

244
00:10:43,503 --> 00:10:44,914
Oh, yeah. Want some more?

245
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:46,245
Yeah.

246
00:10:46,339 --> 00:10:47,420
Do you want some?

247
00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:48,543
Yeah, go on then.

248
00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:52,502
Cut me a nice big juicy slice.
I like mine nice and juicy.

249
00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:54,295
Mother!

250
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,004
No, you can't rush him.

251
00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,799
Yeah, he's happy going at that speed,
ain't he?

252
00:11:35,889 --> 00:11:38,097
Yeah, dead slow and stop.

253
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,365
- It's the door.
- Well, answer it.

254
00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:07,372
- It's that taxi bloke.
- Open the door, Nicola.

255
00:12:07,462 --> 00:12:08,828
No, I don't know him.

256
00:12:08,922 --> 00:12:10,208
Course you know him.

257
00:12:10,298 --> 00:12:11,584
Go on, I've got wet hands.

258
00:12:11,674 --> 00:12:12,755
So!

259
00:12:12,842 --> 00:12:15,209
Tell you what, Nicola,
you're an awkward cow.

260
00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:16,965
Don't be sexist.

261
00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:21,181
- Hello, Patsy.
- Hello, Wendy.

262
00:12:21,351 --> 00:12:22,432
All right?

263
00:12:22,518 --> 00:12:26,888
Sorry to bother you on a Sunday, like,
but I was wondering if Andy was in.

264
00:12:26,981 --> 00:12:28,142
Yeah.

265
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,312
Only I was hoping to catch him
down in the boozer, like,

266
00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:33,645
but I got a bit held up.

267
00:12:33,738 --> 00:12:34,945
Oh, yeah?

268
00:12:36,157 --> 00:12:37,989
Had to go down and see me old mum.

269
00:12:38,076 --> 00:12:39,487
Oh, did you?

270
00:12:39,911 --> 00:12:42,073
Yeah, he's down the bottom of the garden.

271
00:12:42,163 --> 00:12:44,120
- Oh.
- D'you wanna see him?

272
00:12:44,999 --> 00:12:46,115
Yeah, all right.

273
00:12:47,377 --> 00:12:48,413
Come in then.

274
00:12:48,503 --> 00:12:49,869
Thanks very much.

275
00:12:50,171 --> 00:12:51,503
Terrific.

276
00:12:53,508 --> 00:12:54,794
Hello, girls.

277
00:12:54,884 --> 00:12:56,341
Hello, boys.

278
00:13:00,348 --> 00:13:01,555
Hang on a minute.

279
00:13:08,273 --> 00:13:09,354
Patsy's here.

280
00:13:09,482 --> 00:13:10,973
- What?
- It's Patsy.

281
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:14,356
Ah, there he is, I'll just slip out and see him
if that's all right.

282
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,858
Yeah, that's all right, Patsy, go on.

283
00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:18,314
Just watch yourself on that little step.

284
00:13:18,408 --> 00:13:20,491
- What?
- That's the one, yeah.

285
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,118
- Andrew!
- Hello, Patsy, how are you?

286
00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:30,918
- Christ, he's in a right state!
- He's had about ten pints.

287
00:13:31,921 --> 00:13:34,504
Good job he's been banned from driving.

288
00:13:35,341 --> 00:13:36,502
Nice hairstyle.

289
00:13:37,176 --> 00:13:39,589
I'll bet his wife did those little streaks.

290
00:13:39,846 --> 00:13:42,964
She must've got one of them 3.99 kits
from the chemist.

291
00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:45,925
- What you let him in for, eh?
- What was I supposed to do?

292
00:13:46,019 --> 00:13:47,305
Fascist!

293
00:13:48,980 --> 00:13:51,313
Tell you what, though, I wouldn't trust him.

294
00:13:51,399 --> 00:13:54,233
I wouldn't trust anyone
wearing a suit like that.

295
00:13:54,319 --> 00:13:56,857
They cost about 300 quid
them suits, you know.

296
00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:59,984
- What's he do anyway?
- He don't do anything, he's unemployed.

297
00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:05,702
I can lay me hands on anything in here,
you name it.

298
00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:08,781
Bit of old rope, Christmas tree, guitar.

299
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:11,288
Ah, the old one-armed guitar player, eh?

300
00:14:11,377 --> 00:14:14,836
Yeah. Kinda picked it up, put a new neck
on it, new set of strings.

301
00:14:15,173 --> 00:14:16,789
Basically, it's a good box.

302
00:14:17,216 --> 00:14:21,631
<i>♪ Mothers, don't let your children
grow up to be cowboys ♪</i>

303
00:14:26,309 --> 00:14:29,143
Listen, Andy, you want to get yourself
out of the house for a while?

304
00:14:29,228 --> 00:14:30,435
Hello, my friend.

305
00:14:30,855 --> 00:14:34,064
I love 'em, she can't stand 'em.
Won't let 'em through the door.

306
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,642
Got two of them, car boot sale.

307
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,153
Twins.

308
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:42,573
Yeah, you got 20 minutes, have you?

309
00:14:42,658 --> 00:14:43,990
What for?

310
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,401
I got something for you.

311
00:14:45,495 --> 00:14:48,613
Listen, Patsy, whatever it is, I swear to God
I can't afford it, I'm broke.

312
00:14:49,415 --> 00:14:50,656
Andrew,

313
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:56,246
I am inviting you to accompany me
to a certain place,

314
00:14:57,131 --> 00:14:58,918
where I'm going to show you something.

315
00:14:59,008 --> 00:15:00,340
Where, what is it?

316
00:15:00,426 --> 00:15:03,885
I'm not prepared to reveal that
at this stage.

317
00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:05,254
Why not?

318
00:15:05,348 --> 00:15:06,555
It's a surprise.

319
00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:10,517
What is this?

320
00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:13,516
- Come on, do us a favour.
- Give us a clue.

321
00:15:13,606 --> 00:15:17,646
No, schtum is the word.
If you don't go, you'll never know.

322
00:15:18,653 --> 00:15:19,860
Be there or be square.

323
00:15:23,366 --> 00:15:24,482
Nah!

324
00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:26,491
Suit yourself.

325
00:15:29,664 --> 00:15:30,950
I'll see you in a minute.

326
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,576
- How long you gonna be?
- Be right back.

327
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,579
- Where you going?
- I don't know.

328
00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:35,705
Where you taking him, Patsy?

329
00:15:35,795 --> 00:15:38,253
Don't worry, Wendy,
a little magical mystery tour.

330
00:15:38,339 --> 00:15:40,422
Hey, Andy, you've still got your hat on.

331
00:15:40,508 --> 00:15:41,715
Catch.

332
00:15:42,468 --> 00:15:43,834
Sure you two haven't got a woman?

333
00:15:43,928 --> 00:15:44,918
With my luck?

334
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,176
With a beautiful girl like you?

335
00:15:48,349 --> 00:15:49,931
Heard it all before.

336
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,883
- See you later.
- See you later.

337
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,720
Dad!

338
00:15:55,815 --> 00:15:57,556
- What?
- Get us 20 Silk Cut.

339
00:15:57,650 --> 00:15:59,642
- Get your own.
- Selfish pig!

340
00:16:05,741 --> 00:16:07,232
Oh, it's nice and hot.

341
00:16:07,326 --> 00:16:08,817
A bit bright.

342
00:16:10,079 --> 00:16:11,195
That's it.

343
00:16:18,838 --> 00:16:19,999
That's right.

344
00:16:21,424 --> 00:16:22,665
Come on, get in.

345
00:16:23,426 --> 00:16:25,338
What, can't get it in the hole?

346
00:16:25,428 --> 00:16:26,714
Shut up.

347
00:16:53,164 --> 00:16:56,498
Relax, Andy, relax.

348
00:17:35,748 --> 00:17:37,330
Oh, hi, Natalie.

349
00:17:37,416 --> 00:17:38,748
It's Nicola.

350
00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:40,496
Oh, yeah, sorry.

351
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:41,751
Brought a pineapple.

352
00:17:41,837 --> 00:17:42,873
What for?

353
00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:44,751
Your mum, you know?

354
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:46,130
Oh.

355
00:17:50,179 --> 00:17:51,841
D'you want to come in?

356
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,888
Yeah, thanks very much.

357
00:17:57,562 --> 00:17:58,643
Shut the door.

358
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,387
Oh, yeah.

359
00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:03,978
Here you go.

360
00:18:08,489 --> 00:18:09,570
Nobody in?

361
00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:10,738
No.

362
00:18:11,576 --> 00:18:12,737
Want to sit down?

363
00:18:13,869 --> 00:18:16,156
Yeah. Yeah, thanks very much.

364
00:18:50,323 --> 00:18:53,316
So, Andrew, what do you think?

365
00:18:53,409 --> 00:18:56,447
I think it's a load of old crap,
that's what I think.

366
00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:57,573
What's the matter with it?

367
00:18:57,663 --> 00:18:59,245
Look at the state of it.

368
00:18:59,332 --> 00:19:00,994
A coat of paint.

369
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:03,454
You're looking at the future, mate.

370
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:07,128
This could be the catalyst
that sparks the revolution.

371
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:10,332
- This is what you've always wanted.
- I want this like I want a hole in the head.

372
00:19:10,426 --> 00:19:13,134
This is your chance
to break out of the rat race.

373
00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:16,011
Ooh!

374
00:19:17,683 --> 00:19:19,174
Should get a cat.

375
00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:22,974
- Eh?
- Get another cat like Tigger.

376
00:19:24,148 --> 00:19:25,810
- What, a little kitten?
- Yeah.

377
00:19:26,442 --> 00:19:27,649
No.

378
00:19:28,277 --> 00:19:30,860
I don't want a moggy
scratching all me furniture.

379
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:34,482
- Why, do you want a cat?
- No.

380
00:19:36,035 --> 00:19:37,947
I don't know why I said it, really.

381
00:19:40,706 --> 00:19:42,493
Could get a big Rottweiler,

382
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:45,121
then it might eat Nicola.

383
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:46,664
It's a good idea.

384
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:50,000
That's one way of getting rid of her.

385
00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:53,250
Should get a crocodile.

386
00:20:01,352 --> 00:20:03,014
My hair's falling out.

387
00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:05,057
Yeah, well, stop pulling it then.

388
00:20:05,147 --> 00:20:06,604
It still falls out.

389
00:20:06,691 --> 00:20:08,057
It's really nice hair.

390
00:20:08,150 --> 00:20:09,311
You taking the piss?

391
00:20:09,402 --> 00:20:11,234
No … I mean it.

392
00:20:12,154 --> 00:20:13,315
I'm sincere.

393
00:20:13,406 --> 00:20:14,692
Bollocks.

394
00:20:14,949 --> 00:20:16,406
You're a really attractive girl, you know.

395
00:20:16,492 --> 00:20:17,949
No, I'm not.

396
00:20:18,828 --> 00:20:20,319
I'm too fat.

397
00:20:21,163 --> 00:20:22,244
Fat?

398
00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:23,997
What is fat?

399
00:20:24,417 --> 00:20:25,828
It's all in the mind.

400
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:31,959
Do you want to put it down?

401
00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:34,336
Yeah.

402
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,918
I think it's on the turn.

403
00:20:37,596 --> 00:20:39,053
Didn't wanna waste it.

404
00:20:39,974 --> 00:20:42,887
Had a few ideas, but … you know.

405
00:20:43,352 --> 00:20:44,809
Why didn't you eat it?

406
00:20:46,188 --> 00:20:47,645
Great knees.

407
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,112
Look at this, rust everywhere.

408
00:20:56,198 --> 00:20:58,281
There you go,
lightning striking a cup of tea.

409
00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:00,450
It's falling apart.
A strong wind, roof'll come off.

410
00:21:00,536 --> 00:21:02,448
Here you are, have a look inside.

411
00:21:03,038 --> 00:21:05,530
I'm not going in there, mate,
I value my health too much.

412
00:21:05,624 --> 00:21:07,081
No, feel free.

413
00:21:07,168 --> 00:21:08,454
No way!

414
00:21:09,462 --> 00:21:11,169
Phew, ripe, innit?

415
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,921
No, it's just a bit musty.
Needs a bit of air through it.

416
00:21:14,008 --> 00:21:16,125
I'm betting something died in here.

417
00:21:16,218 --> 00:21:17,675
Are you sure this is on the level, Patsy?

418
00:21:17,762 --> 00:21:20,095
Course it is, belongs to my brother.

419
00:21:20,181 --> 00:21:21,843
Ha-ha, look, the old griddle.

420
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:24,174
Ah, there she is, beautiful.

421
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:26,551
Ain't seen those in a while.

422
00:21:26,687 --> 00:21:29,304
- She's still in good nick.
- You must be joking, it's fucked, innit?

423
00:21:29,398 --> 00:21:31,435
It's got everything you need in 'ere.

424
00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:37,528
I'm making a tea, Nicola,
do you want one?

425
00:21:37,615 --> 00:21:38,776
Oh, hello, Aubrey.

426
00:21:39,325 --> 00:21:41,282
- Hello, Wendy.
- What you doing here?

427
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:44,281
I brought you a pineapple.

428
00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:45,407
Oh, did you?

429
00:21:45,498 --> 00:21:47,660
Oh. Oh, ain't it a big one?

430
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:50,367
Andy's not 'ere.
He just popped out.

431
00:21:50,461 --> 00:21:51,497
Yeah?

432
00:21:51,587 --> 00:21:52,668
How long you been here?

433
00:21:52,755 --> 00:21:54,212
15, 20 minutes.

434
00:21:54,298 --> 00:21:56,881
- Oh, you haven't, Aubrey?
- Straight up.

435
00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:58,208
- Nicola!
- What?

436
00:21:58,344 --> 00:21:59,630
Why didn't you tell me Aubrey was here?

437
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,803
- You knew I was out the back.
- No, I never!

438
00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:03,926
- You did.
- Are you calling me a liar?

439
00:22:04,016 --> 00:22:06,554
- Yes, I am.
- I thought you'd gone for a walk.

440
00:22:07,186 --> 00:22:10,429
Don't be so stupid! I've never been
for a walk in me life, have I?

441
00:22:10,523 --> 00:22:11,934
Sorry about this, Aubrey.

442
00:22:12,024 --> 00:22:13,231
No sweat.

443
00:22:13,317 --> 00:22:15,934
Come and have a seat in the garden.
Take your coat off, get the sun.

444
00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:17,777
She's a nice girl.

445
00:22:17,863 --> 00:22:21,322
Yeah, nice with her head
in a bucket.

446
00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:28,408
Look at that, brilliant!

447
00:22:28,499 --> 00:22:31,082
Tell you what, I'll let you have
these comestibles for nothing.

448
00:22:33,170 --> 00:22:34,786
I promise you, Andy,

449
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,214
you get down White Hart Lane
on Saturday, for the home games,

450
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:41,884
a man of your skills, couple of hundred
beef burgers, you'll make a fortune.

451
00:22:41,971 --> 00:22:43,758
Excuse me, guvnor,
I'll have four hamburgers,

452
00:22:43,848 --> 00:22:46,135
three egg burgers,
a sausage roll with onions,

453
00:22:46,225 --> 00:22:48,717
a bacon, egg and cheese roll,
a tea, a Bovril and a large vodka.

454
00:22:50,145 --> 00:22:51,886
Sold to the man with the beard.

455
00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:55,352
I have to admit, Patsy, I am tempted.

456
00:22:57,903 --> 00:22:58,984
<i>♪ No</i>

457
00:22:59,572 --> 00:23:01,029
<i>♪ No regrets</i>

458
00:23:01,407 --> 00:23:02,523
<i>♪ No</i>

459
00:23:02,783 --> 00:23:04,194
<i>♪ No regret rien ♪</i>

460
00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:07,028
- Oh, yeah, that's what I remember, yeah.
- She sang it in French.

461
00:23:07,121 --> 00:23:08,202
Yeah, she was in France.

462
00:23:08,289 --> 00:23:10,906
- She was thin.
- She was thin, she was French.

463
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,287
- Dead now, ain't she?
- Yeah, she was a prostitute.

464
00:23:13,377 --> 00:23:15,039
- So?
- Shut up!

465
00:23:15,129 --> 00:23:16,210
The Sparrow.

466
00:23:16,297 --> 00:23:18,334
Yeah, the Little Sparrow,
that's right, yeah.

467
00:23:18,424 --> 00:23:19,631
So, you all set then, Aubrey,

468
00:23:19,717 --> 00:23:21,458
got all your little menus printed up?

469
00:23:21,552 --> 00:23:22,963
- Yeah.
- Yeah, good.

470
00:23:23,512 --> 00:23:24,593
No, I haven't actually.

471
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,046
Oh, blimey, when do you open?

472
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:28,507
- Tuesday.
- That only gives you a couple of days.

473
00:23:28,601 --> 00:23:31,093
How's everyone meant to know
what they want to eat?

474
00:23:31,186 --> 00:23:33,599
- They might not want to eat.
- Oh, here we go!

475
00:23:33,689 --> 00:23:36,272
- Don't be stupid, it's a restaurant.
- So?

476
00:23:36,358 --> 00:23:38,020
- It's all right if they don't wanna eat.
- See?

477
00:23:38,110 --> 00:23:39,317
They can bask in the atmosphere.

478
00:23:39,403 --> 00:23:42,020
You won't make much profit
that way, Aubrey.

479
00:23:42,156 --> 00:23:43,647
No sweat.

480
00:23:43,741 --> 00:23:44,857
- It's daft.
- No, it ain't.

481
00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:46,031
Parisian.

482
00:23:46,118 --> 00:23:48,326
Why, don't they eat in Paris, then?

483
00:23:48,454 --> 00:23:49,570
Good one.

484
00:23:50,456 --> 00:23:51,572
Seven.

485
00:23:51,665 --> 00:23:52,951
Two fifty.

486
00:23:53,042 --> 00:23:56,080
- I'll come down to six.
- 300.

487
00:23:56,170 --> 00:23:57,251
Five fifty.

488
00:23:57,338 --> 00:24:00,081
I'll give you 300 now
and 50 when I've checked out the gear.

489
00:24:00,174 --> 00:24:01,255
500.

490
00:24:01,342 --> 00:24:02,924
- 400.
- Four fifty.

491
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:04,592
- Four twenty-five.
- All right, done.

492
00:24:04,678 --> 00:24:06,135
- Right.
- Yes, indeed.

493
00:24:06,221 --> 00:24:07,462
Cheers.

494
00:24:08,724 --> 00:24:10,090
Hang on, hang on, drop the wheel.

495
00:24:10,184 --> 00:24:13,177
- Drop the wheel.
- And … up!

496
00:24:14,855 --> 00:24:16,847
Hey, how about that?

497
00:24:16,941 --> 00:24:18,807
- Sweet as a nut.
- Genius.

498
00:24:18,901 --> 00:24:20,563
Just get parked up, be right back.

499
00:24:20,653 --> 00:24:22,064
Off you go.

500
00:24:32,081 --> 00:24:33,288
Andy?

501
00:24:33,832 --> 00:24:35,619
Ta-da!
What d'you think?

502
00:24:36,418 --> 00:24:40,332
- Oh, Andy, you haven't?!
- She loves it, Patsy.

503
00:24:40,422 --> 00:24:42,789
Look at it, mobile goldmine,
I can feel it in me water.

504
00:24:42,883 --> 00:24:44,419
Oh, Andy, you're joking me.

505
00:24:44,510 --> 00:24:47,002
I'm not, I promise,
God's truth, no word of a lie.

506
00:24:47,096 --> 00:24:49,258
- Have you bought it?
- Yeah, good innit?

507
00:24:49,348 --> 00:24:50,509
- No.
- Great!

508
00:24:50,599 --> 00:24:52,465
- What d'you reckon?
- Not much.

509
00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:54,767
Andy, it's a heap of rubbish!

510
00:24:54,853 --> 00:24:56,344
- What d'you mean?
- Well, look at it!

511
00:24:56,438 --> 00:24:58,680
- Got character, innit?
- Oh, Andy!

512
00:24:58,774 --> 00:24:59,890
I love it!

513
00:24:59,984 --> 00:25:01,725
- It's disgusting.
- Eh?

514
00:25:01,819 --> 00:25:03,560
It's ecologically unsound.

515
00:25:03,654 --> 00:25:05,646
- You're ecologically unsound.
- Bollocks!

516
00:25:06,281 --> 00:25:08,694
- What d'you reckon, Nat?
- It's embarrassing.

517
00:25:08,784 --> 00:25:11,697
Eh? Nah, you and me,
soon get it licked into shape.

518
00:25:11,829 --> 00:25:13,616
You must be joking.

519
00:25:14,415 --> 00:25:15,656
It's all rusty.

520
00:25:15,749 --> 00:25:19,618
No, no, Wendy, that is just superficial,
know what I mean?

521
00:25:19,712 --> 00:25:22,580
Bit of treatment, nice coat of paint,
come up lovely.

522
00:25:22,673 --> 00:25:24,084
This is you, isn't it?

523
00:25:24,174 --> 00:25:25,255
Eh?

524
00:25:25,342 --> 00:25:26,583
Oh, Patsy!

525
00:25:27,594 --> 00:25:29,836
Excuse me, mate, if you don't mind.

526
00:25:30,014 --> 00:25:31,130
What?

527
00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:32,634
Oh, yeah, yeah, cool.

528
00:25:32,725 --> 00:25:34,182
Innit great, Aub?

529
00:25:34,268 --> 00:25:36,351
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's …

530
00:25:36,603 --> 00:25:38,560
The possibilities are …

531
00:25:38,647 --> 00:25:42,311
- You know …
- Yeah, it's all there, the works, all you need.

532
00:25:42,526 --> 00:25:44,984
Where you keeping it, Andy,
cos you're not keeping it here?

533
00:25:45,070 --> 00:25:47,403
- I'll get a lock-up or something.
- Andy?

534
00:25:48,157 --> 00:25:49,318
I'll be right with you, mate.

535
00:25:49,408 --> 00:25:50,444
Just give me one sec.

536
00:25:50,534 --> 00:25:51,650
Andy?

537
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,657
- What's going on, Patsy?
- Nothing.

538
00:25:56,206 --> 00:25:58,243
How much is he paying you
for it then?

539
00:25:58,333 --> 00:26:00,746
Well, that is not for me
to say, Wendy.

540
00:26:04,173 --> 00:26:07,041
- You're behaving like a big kid.
- Don't be cheeky.

541
00:26:08,719 --> 00:26:11,052
- All right, Patsy?
- Andy, where you going?

542
00:26:11,138 --> 00:26:12,345
- Ten minutes.
- Where you going?

543
00:26:12,431 --> 00:26:14,844
- I'll be right back.
- Andy.

544
00:26:19,229 --> 00:26:21,516
- What's he doing?
- He's getting conned.

545
00:26:21,607 --> 00:26:22,939
As usual.

546
00:26:24,902 --> 00:26:26,018
Ohh!

547
00:26:26,361 --> 00:26:28,899
Aubrey … you all right?

548
00:26:28,989 --> 00:26:30,821
Oh, blimey!

549
00:26:31,492 --> 00:26:32,903
I thought you copped in then.

550
00:26:32,993 --> 00:26:34,700
Yeah, it went up on me there.

551
00:26:34,787 --> 00:26:36,653
Yeah, there's no wotsit.

552
00:26:36,747 --> 00:26:39,615
- I wondered what was happening.
- Listen, have a cup of tea.

553
00:26:41,043 --> 00:26:43,160
- Hey, jackpot!
- There you go, mate.

554
00:26:43,253 --> 00:26:44,619
Thanks very much, Andy.

555
00:26:44,713 --> 00:26:46,454
All right, mate,
see you through the week.

556
00:26:46,548 --> 00:26:49,461
- Need a lift?
- No, gotta go see me old mum.

557
00:26:49,551 --> 00:26:50,962
- Oh, all right.
- Know what I mean?

558
00:26:51,053 --> 00:26:52,635
Right, cheers, all the best.

559
00:26:56,183 --> 00:26:57,094
To be honest,

560
00:26:57,184 --> 00:27:00,723
it's worth far more
in scrap value alone than what I paid for it.

561
00:27:00,813 --> 00:27:03,055
- So what did you pay for it then?
- What?

562
00:27:03,148 --> 00:27:07,062
Well … what I done, I haven't actually,
depends what you mean by …

563
00:27:07,152 --> 00:27:10,236
- See, he's not cracking on, Aubrey.
- No, no, I know what I'm doing.

564
00:27:10,322 --> 00:27:11,733
Could've fooled me.

565
00:27:11,824 --> 00:27:14,487
I hope you didn't pay
more than ten quid for it.

566
00:27:14,576 --> 00:27:17,193
I paid more than ten quid for it,
but it's an investment, innit?

567
00:27:17,371 --> 00:27:18,407
Tory!

568
00:27:18,497 --> 00:27:20,238
What d'you think, Aubrey?

569
00:27:20,332 --> 00:27:22,824
- Yeah, mate.
- Er, it's …

570
00:27:23,252 --> 00:27:24,368
Now be honest.

571
00:27:25,087 --> 00:27:26,794
Yeah, gilt edged, you know.

572
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,963
- See? Aubrey knows the game.
- Can't go wrong.

573
00:27:29,049 --> 00:27:30,961
Ronald McDonald had to start somewhere.

574
00:27:31,051 --> 00:27:34,044
Oh, blimey, it's old Big Mac sitting here.

575
00:27:34,429 --> 00:27:35,465
Urgh!

576
00:27:35,556 --> 00:27:37,548
When we gonna see
your restaurant, Aub?

577
00:27:37,641 --> 00:27:39,303
- Whenever you like.
- Have a nose.

578
00:27:39,518 --> 00:27:42,010
Yeah, before you open,
if you want any advice.

579
00:27:42,187 --> 00:27:43,894
He wants it to be a success, Dad.

580
00:27:43,981 --> 00:27:45,392
- Shut up.
- Yeah.

581
00:27:45,482 --> 00:27:48,646
I'd like you to see my restaurant.
Don't get me wrong, I'm confident.

582
00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:50,567
- Yeah.
- I'm mega-confident.

583
00:27:50,654 --> 00:27:51,644
Oh, are you?

584
00:27:51,738 --> 00:27:53,149
I just haven't had any outside input.

585
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,152
- Haven't you?
- We could go now.

586
00:27:55,284 --> 00:27:56,320
Yeah, all right.

587
00:27:56,410 --> 00:27:57,742
He might want to stay here.

588
00:27:57,828 --> 00:27:59,569
What's he want to stay here for?

589
00:27:59,663 --> 00:28:00,744
Cos.

590
00:28:00,831 --> 00:28:02,072
He can do what he likes.

591
00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:03,247
We can go now.

592
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:04,869
Yeah, cool.

593
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,542
Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, great!

594
00:28:06,628 --> 00:28:09,245
Just give us a minute
to powder me nose then.

595
00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:10,420
Hey!

596
00:28:10,507 --> 00:28:12,749
Andy, what are you doing?

597
00:28:12,843 --> 00:28:15,005
- What?
- We've seen it all before.

598
00:28:15,095 --> 00:28:16,461
He's fallen in the water!

599
00:28:16,555 --> 00:28:17,591
Pratt!

600
00:28:17,681 --> 00:28:19,673
- Boring git.
- Shut up.

601
00:28:19,766 --> 00:28:21,507
You're gonna break a leg
one of these days, Andy.

602
00:28:21,602 --> 00:28:24,470
- You all right, Andy?
- Yeah, just mucking about.

603
00:28:31,195 --> 00:28:32,811
Ooh, Aubrey!

604
00:28:34,239 --> 00:28:35,650
Oh, blimey!

605
00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:38,608
I thought we were gonna take off then.

606
00:28:39,745 --> 00:28:42,203
- I'll have to let you out, Wendy.
- I've got no handle.

607
00:28:42,289 --> 00:28:44,576
Yeah, I know.
I'll have to come round.

608
00:28:44,666 --> 00:28:46,749
Hey, Andy,
I thought we were gonna fly then.

609
00:28:46,835 --> 00:28:48,792
Did you?
Had a joy ride, did you?

610
00:28:48,879 --> 00:28:51,667
- Oh, can't get out!
- Fantastic, innit, look?

611
00:28:52,841 --> 00:28:54,298
<i>Très</i> exclusive.

612
00:28:54,384 --> 00:28:56,341
- Innit nice, Andy?
- Yeah, great.

613
00:28:56,428 --> 00:28:58,340
- Yeah, I like the lamps.
- Yeah.

614
00:28:58,430 --> 00:29:00,672
That's where you gotta
put your menus, is it?

615
00:29:00,766 --> 00:29:02,132
Yeah. I can't find the key though.

616
00:29:02,226 --> 00:29:03,216
You need a key, Aub.

617
00:29:04,728 --> 00:29:05,889
What?

618
00:29:05,979 --> 00:29:07,595
What is it?

619
00:29:07,689 --> 00:29:10,557
Oh, it's a little pet cat, look.

620
00:29:10,651 --> 00:29:12,062
It's a dead moggy!

621
00:29:12,152 --> 00:29:14,735
- Oh, bless him.
- It's fantastic, innit?

622
00:29:14,821 --> 00:29:16,278
I was gonna put this up here.

623
00:29:16,365 --> 00:29:17,776
Oh, you can't.

624
00:29:17,866 --> 00:29:20,074
Not in a restaurant,
put people off their food.

625
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:21,276
It'll smell.

626
00:29:21,370 --> 00:29:26,661
See, what I'm going for here is …
the street, the wall …

627
00:29:27,209 --> 00:29:29,542
and I got these accordions
from a car boot sale,

628
00:29:29,628 --> 00:29:31,494
and I'm gonna stick 'em up here,

629
00:29:31,588 --> 00:29:35,673
and they are going to represent
the music of Paree.

630
00:29:35,759 --> 00:29:38,376
- Do they work, Aubrey?
- No, they're knackered.

631
00:29:38,512 --> 00:29:41,346
I got three of them for £17.50, you know?

632
00:29:41,431 --> 00:29:42,672
They saw you coming, mate.

633
00:29:47,604 --> 00:29:50,563
The bird cages, I'm gonna hang them up
all over the ceiling.

634
00:29:50,649 --> 00:29:52,811
Yeah, you got a load of them, ain't you?

635
00:29:52,901 --> 00:29:54,142
They're gonna …

636
00:29:55,654 --> 00:29:57,941
symbolise The Sparrow.

637
00:29:58,031 --> 00:29:59,363
I like the bike.

638
00:29:59,491 --> 00:30:01,778
Oh, yeah! Innit novel?

639
00:30:01,868 --> 00:30:03,985
- It's brilliant, isn't it?
- Yeah, the old onion seller.

640
00:30:04,079 --> 00:30:05,570
That's in the wrong place.

641
00:30:06,790 --> 00:30:07,997
Blimey.

642
00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:10,746
- Is this the original French article, Aubrey?
- Yeah, yeah.

643
00:30:10,836 --> 00:30:13,078
<i>Oui, oui.</i>

644
00:30:13,171 --> 00:30:15,413
No, it was me dad's actually.
It was in the shed.

645
00:30:15,507 --> 00:30:17,214
Oh, ain't that nice, Andy?

646
00:30:17,301 --> 00:30:19,133
He would've been proud of you, Aubrey.

647
00:30:19,219 --> 00:30:21,757
I don't think he would've cared less,
Wendy, you know?

648
00:30:21,847 --> 00:30:23,509
He was a nasty old bastard.

649
00:30:27,144 --> 00:30:28,351
Here, look at this.

650
00:30:29,062 --> 00:30:30,473
Oh, you got a fish tank!

651
00:30:30,564 --> 00:30:31,975
That's good, innit?

652
00:30:32,065 --> 00:30:33,146
Oh, yeah!

653
00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:35,065
I thought they were real!

654
00:30:35,152 --> 00:30:36,814
So did I.

655
00:30:36,903 --> 00:30:38,940
The fish look a bit humpty, don't they?

656
00:30:39,031 --> 00:30:40,272
The water's murky, innit?

657
00:30:40,365 --> 00:30:44,405
I'm gonna put a couple of lobsters in there.
People can choose 'em and I'll cook 'em.

658
00:30:44,494 --> 00:30:45,826
Nice one.

659
00:30:45,996 --> 00:30:48,739
Yeah, so where you gonna
put your prawns then?

660
00:30:48,832 --> 00:30:49,993
Prawn.

661
00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:51,574
Is that all, just one?

662
00:30:51,668 --> 00:30:53,830
- King prawn.
- Oh, sorry.

663
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,877
Anywhere you like, Wendy, you know?

664
00:30:56,173 --> 00:30:58,586
It's all a matter of what picture
you wanna paint.

665
00:30:58,675 --> 00:31:00,211
You having all black plates then?

666
00:31:00,302 --> 00:31:01,418
Yeah, great canvas.

667
00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:03,798
What's the sauce you're using there, Aub?

668
00:31:03,889 --> 00:31:06,381
Basically, jam blended with orange juice.

669
00:31:06,475 --> 00:31:07,465
Orange juice.

670
00:31:07,559 --> 00:31:08,925
What's that white stuff, cream?

671
00:31:09,019 --> 00:31:10,806
- Fromage frais, innit?
- Yoghurt.

672
00:31:10,896 --> 00:31:11,932
Is it?

673
00:31:12,022 --> 00:31:14,059
Fromage frais
would bubble on you, And.

674
00:31:14,149 --> 00:31:15,356
It needn't.

675
00:31:15,442 --> 00:31:20,779
I achieved this effect by gently easing,
teasing and squeezing …

676
00:31:21,406 --> 00:31:23,989
Don't be so dirty.

677
00:31:24,701 --> 00:31:27,068
… till you've got a nice symmetrical circle.

678
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,619
And, then we chisel in the pattern
with the end of a knife,

679
00:31:31,708 --> 00:31:35,418
- and Bob's your uncle, it's ready to set.
- Looks nice though, Andy.

680
00:31:35,504 --> 00:31:37,370
Your grill's in a bit of a state, Aubrey.

681
00:31:37,464 --> 00:31:38,580
Is it?

682
00:31:38,673 --> 00:31:40,915
Oh, yeah, the girl can deal with all that.

683
00:31:41,009 --> 00:31:42,591
When they starting then, your girls?

684
00:31:42,677 --> 00:31:44,669
The dogsbody tomorrow,
the waitress on Tuesday.

685
00:31:44,763 --> 00:31:46,174
- Oh, right.
- Great team.

686
00:31:46,681 --> 00:31:48,889
I love your little candles.

687
00:31:49,017 --> 00:31:50,133
Bistro effect, innit?

688
00:31:50,227 --> 00:31:52,344
Yeah, they're great, ain't they?

689
00:31:52,437 --> 00:31:54,895
I've been trying to get them
all the same length.

690
00:31:54,981 --> 00:31:59,772
But I keep forgetting to blow 'em out
and I have to start all over again.

691
00:31:59,861 --> 00:32:01,648
I've been through twelve boxes this week.

692
00:32:02,906 --> 00:32:05,114
Ah, that'll be you first little booking.

693
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,657
Here we go!

694
00:32:07,911 --> 00:32:09,868
Hello, the Regret Rien.

695
00:32:10,414 --> 00:32:11,996
Oh, hi, Hilary.

696
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:16,371
How are you? You raring to go? Great.

697
00:32:18,338 --> 00:32:19,545
You what?

698
00:32:20,882 --> 00:32:22,123
Hang on a minute.

699
00:32:27,180 --> 00:32:28,261
Say that again.

700
00:32:32,352 --> 00:32:35,516
- Look at the state of this place.
- Shame, innit?

701
00:32:35,605 --> 00:32:37,392
I don't think he'll be ready, you know?

702
00:32:37,482 --> 00:32:39,644
You wanna see the ladies toilet.

703
00:32:40,277 --> 00:32:43,270
- Still, all credit to him.
- Oh, bless him, yeah.

704
00:32:43,363 --> 00:32:45,275
Puts the old caravan in perspective,
don't it?

705
00:32:45,365 --> 00:32:47,903
Oh, Andy, please, don't remind me.

706
00:32:47,993 --> 00:32:49,575
What d'you mean?

707
00:32:49,661 --> 00:32:52,699
Well, I don't want it sitting there, do I,
for two years, blocking me view?

708
00:32:52,831 --> 00:32:54,493
No, this has inspired me.

709
00:32:54,583 --> 00:32:57,166
I wanna get back, get down to work,
get stuck in.

710
00:32:57,377 --> 00:32:59,494
Pigs might fly.

711
00:32:59,921 --> 00:33:01,253
Fuck you!

712
00:33:05,260 --> 00:33:07,217
- What's up, mate?
- Nothing.

713
00:33:10,474 --> 00:33:13,057
- Do you want a cigar, Andy?
- No, thanks, mate, I don't use 'em.

714
00:33:13,518 --> 00:33:16,431
- Wendy, would you like a liqueur?
- No, ta, I'm fine.

715
00:33:16,897 --> 00:33:19,264
- Who was that then?
- My waitress.

716
00:33:19,357 --> 00:33:20,564
- What, the big girl?
- Yeah.

717
00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:22,858
- The Aussie?
- Yeah. No, Kiwi.

718
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,312
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

719
00:33:26,072 --> 00:33:27,153
Gotta laugh, ain't you?

720
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,401
What's the matter then?

721
00:33:28,492 --> 00:33:31,405
She's, er … let me down.
You know?

722
00:33:31,995 --> 00:33:33,111
How d'you mean?

723
00:33:33,580 --> 00:33:35,947
She's going away … with her boyfriend.

724
00:33:36,041 --> 00:33:37,748
- When?
- Today.

725
00:33:37,834 --> 00:33:40,542
- She was phoning from Heathrow.
- Where's she going?

726
00:33:41,338 --> 00:33:42,579
Flippin' Prague!

727
00:33:43,173 --> 00:33:44,414
Aw!

728
00:33:44,925 --> 00:33:46,917
- That's not right.
- No, that's not on, mate.

729
00:33:47,010 --> 00:33:49,218
- No, sorry.
- It's great, innit?

730
00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:52,547
You give someone a break,
a chance to better themselves,

731
00:33:52,641 --> 00:33:54,883
an opportunity
to enter into a brave new venture,

732
00:33:54,976 --> 00:33:56,308
and what do they do?

733
00:33:56,436 --> 00:33:57,643
Piss off to Poland!

734
00:33:57,729 --> 00:33:59,641
Well, that's typical Aussie, innit?
Travellers.

735
00:34:00,148 --> 00:34:01,355
Students.

736
00:34:01,441 --> 00:34:03,649
It's Czechoslovakia, innit, Prague?

737
00:34:03,777 --> 00:34:05,188
Yeah. Is it?

738
00:34:05,403 --> 00:34:06,484
Yeah.

739
00:34:06,738 --> 00:34:09,401
It's all right, I can cope.
I can do it on me own.

740
00:34:09,491 --> 00:34:11,107
- No, you can't.
- Yes, I can!

741
00:34:11,535 --> 00:34:14,323
I've come this far solo.
I can go the whole hog!

742
00:34:14,704 --> 00:34:17,321
I can wait on table, I can do that.
I'm not proud.

743
00:34:18,166 --> 00:34:19,407
They can eat in the fucking kitchen!

744
00:34:19,501 --> 00:34:21,914
Aubrey, Aubrey, calm down, calm down.

745
00:34:22,003 --> 00:34:24,871
What you gotta do is get onto an agency,

746
00:34:24,965 --> 00:34:27,753
get a waitress over here to cover you
till you get yourself sorted out.

747
00:34:27,842 --> 00:34:30,209
Yeah. Cos you need that little support.

748
00:34:30,303 --> 00:34:31,384
That's right.

749
00:34:31,471 --> 00:34:35,806
It's all right, Andy, Wendy,
everything's hunky-dory, cool.

750
00:34:38,687 --> 00:34:40,223
I'm in complete control.

751
00:34:41,273 --> 00:34:44,482
If ever I see her again,
I'll stick a knife in her guts.

752
00:34:45,235 --> 00:34:46,521
I'll slice her face off.

753
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:48,561
You know?

754
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:03,659
Aub, Aub, Aub! Jesus Christ,
don't the neighbours complain?

755
00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:05,164
Me eardrums, please!

756
00:35:06,715 --> 00:35:09,298
Sorry, I got over it, sorted.

757
00:35:09,801 --> 00:35:11,087
I am so grateful.

758
00:35:11,344 --> 00:35:14,303
Thank you, really, really, from the
deepest part of my heart, thank you.

759
00:35:14,389 --> 00:35:15,721
Aubrey, shut up, right?

760
00:35:15,807 --> 00:35:17,469
No, I'm sincere.

761
00:35:17,767 --> 00:35:20,760
Now, listen, you're in trouble, right,
and I'm helping you out,

762
00:35:20,854 --> 00:35:23,016
cos that's what friends are for.
That's right, isn't it, Andy?

763
00:35:23,106 --> 00:35:24,187
It's amazing!

764
00:35:24,274 --> 00:35:26,436
You haven't even done bar work, Wen.

765
00:35:26,526 --> 00:35:29,064
No, but I'm confident, I can have a go.

766
00:35:29,154 --> 00:35:30,486
Have you ever been a waitress?

767
00:35:30,572 --> 00:35:31,688
- No.
- No.

768
00:35:31,781 --> 00:35:33,693
But I've been waiting on you
all these years.

769
00:35:33,825 --> 00:35:35,111
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

770
00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:37,784
To be honest, Andy,
I think Wendy'll be a natural.

771
00:35:37,871 --> 00:35:39,112
She's got such grace and charm.

772
00:35:39,205 --> 00:35:42,073
- Thank you, Aubrey.
- Are we talking about the same girl?

773
00:35:42,167 --> 00:35:44,124
Don't be rotten.

774
00:35:44,210 --> 00:35:45,746
Listen, what've I gotta wear?

775
00:35:45,837 --> 00:35:47,453
Black, waitress uniform.

776
00:35:47,547 --> 00:35:50,255
What, little French maid's outfit? Whoo!

777
00:35:51,718 --> 00:35:54,552
Hey, Andy, look at his face.

778
00:35:55,889 --> 00:35:57,380
Anything you like, Wendy, you know.

779
00:35:57,474 --> 00:35:58,590
<i>Comme ci, comme ça.</i>

780
00:35:58,683 --> 00:36:01,471
- Come casual.
- Skirt and blouse type of thing?

781
00:36:01,561 --> 00:36:03,848
- Yeah, great.
- See if you've got anything in pink, Wen.

782
00:36:03,938 --> 00:36:05,429
Oh, shut up you!

783
00:36:05,523 --> 00:36:07,389
Listen, are you gonna pay me?

784
00:36:07,484 --> 00:36:08,565
Oh, yeah.

785
00:36:08,652 --> 00:36:10,735
- How much?
- £25 a week.

786
00:36:10,820 --> 00:36:13,904
- What?
- You're joking me!

787
00:36:13,990 --> 00:36:15,526
Leave it out.

788
00:36:15,617 --> 00:36:17,859
- What time's that flight to Prague?
- Yeah, we'll be on it.

789
00:36:17,994 --> 00:36:20,737
No, no, no, you don't understand.

790
00:36:20,830 --> 00:36:23,447
That's just the basic, for the paperwork,
the taxman, you know?

791
00:36:23,541 --> 00:36:26,579
- How d'you mean?
- You get to keep all your tips, that's 12.5%.

792
00:36:26,670 --> 00:36:29,128
If you don't get £100 a week,
I'll make up the difference.

793
00:36:29,214 --> 00:36:31,126
- That's not bad.
- Sounds all right.

794
00:36:31,216 --> 00:36:34,254
- That'll go towards the holiday.
- I don't wanna talk about money anyway.

795
00:36:34,344 --> 00:36:36,051
You can have what you like.
£1000 a week.

796
00:36:36,137 --> 00:36:38,504
- You're on.
- You know what I mean.

797
00:36:38,598 --> 00:36:40,009
Is this your passion pit then, Aub?

798
00:36:40,100 --> 00:36:42,433
Oh, yeah, this is where
he brings all the girls, Andy.

799
00:36:42,519 --> 00:36:45,808
- This is the only room I've had decorated.
- It's nice, innit?

800
00:36:45,897 --> 00:36:47,513
This is what I call a proper boy's room.

801
00:36:47,607 --> 00:36:48,973
- Yeah.
- Great bed.

802
00:36:49,651 --> 00:36:51,108
Orthopaedic.

803
00:36:51,194 --> 00:36:52,401
£300.

804
00:36:52,487 --> 00:36:54,729
How many does it hold?

805
00:36:55,073 --> 00:36:56,314
Oh, careful!

806
00:36:57,158 --> 00:36:58,399
Oh, dear me.

807
00:36:58,493 --> 00:36:59,779
Aubrey!

808
00:36:59,869 --> 00:37:02,577
- You all right, mate?
- What you doing, coming up for air?

809
00:37:02,664 --> 00:37:04,200
Thought I'd lost that.

810
00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:09,747
You looking for fivers down there?

811
00:37:16,970 --> 00:37:21,681
All I'm saying, Andy, is I think
you've made a big mistake, that's all.

812
00:37:22,016 --> 00:37:23,678
Little beauty, ain't she?

813
00:37:24,185 --> 00:37:28,179
I mean, if you got yourself a bank loan, and
bought a really decent van, that's one thing,

814
00:37:28,273 --> 00:37:30,856
but I mean, buying this,
you're throwing good money after bad.

815
00:37:30,942 --> 00:37:32,774
We got any bin bags?

816
00:37:33,319 --> 00:37:35,481
I mean, look at all this, it's rubbish.

817
00:37:36,030 --> 00:37:38,898
What d'you think I want the bin bags for?
Of course it's rubbish.

818
00:37:38,992 --> 00:37:40,574
It's all rubbish, I know that.

819
00:37:40,660 --> 00:37:44,199
That's why I wanna get this lot cleared out,
then I can see what I've got.

820
00:37:44,289 --> 00:37:47,202
I'm sorry, Andy,
I can't get any enthusiasm for it.

821
00:37:47,292 --> 00:37:49,249
I know you can't, it's obvious.

822
00:37:49,335 --> 00:37:51,418
To be honest with you,
I'd appreciate it if you could.

823
00:37:51,504 --> 00:37:53,040
Do with a bit of moral support.

824
00:37:53,131 --> 00:37:55,123
- You'll have to get a licence, you know?
- What?

825
00:37:55,216 --> 00:37:58,584
And I'll tell you what, if you park this
on someone else's pitch,

826
00:37:58,678 --> 00:38:00,135
you're gonna get yourself duffed over.

827
00:38:00,221 --> 00:38:02,338
- I can look after meself.
- Oh, can you?

828
00:38:02,432 --> 00:38:04,594
Ever seen those hotdog fellas,
they're all like that.

829
00:38:04,684 --> 00:38:07,267
Don't know what you're talking about.

830
00:38:07,604 --> 00:38:09,061
Lipstick's a bit bright, Nat.

831
00:38:09,147 --> 00:38:10,433
Oh, very amusing.

832
00:38:10,523 --> 00:38:12,185
Where you going?

833
00:38:12,275 --> 00:38:14,232
- Drink.
- Have one for me.

834
00:38:14,402 --> 00:38:16,018
- Staying in?
- Yeah.

835
00:38:16,112 --> 00:38:19,071
Yeah, he's gotta save up now,
pay for this heap of wotsit.

836
00:38:19,157 --> 00:38:20,523
So long as he's happy.

837
00:38:20,617 --> 00:38:23,280
That's right, Nat.
Thanks a lot, much appreciated.

838
00:38:23,369 --> 00:38:24,405
It's all right.

839
00:38:24,496 --> 00:38:26,158
I'm going in, I'm freezing.

840
00:38:26,623 --> 00:38:29,206
Tell you what, Andy,
I hope it don't rain tonight.

841
00:38:29,292 --> 00:38:32,330
You'll need your snorkel in here
in the morning.

842
00:38:32,879 --> 00:38:34,086
I think she likes it, don't you?

843
00:38:34,172 --> 00:38:36,334
Yeah, she's over the moon.

844
00:38:36,424 --> 00:38:37,710
- See you.
- See you.

845
00:38:40,637 --> 00:38:41,923
Have a good time.

846
00:38:58,321 --> 00:39:00,108
She thought she was gonna get lucky.

847
00:39:00,365 --> 00:39:01,697
I did.

848
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,816
- Another shot then.
- Another shot.

849
00:39:19,509 --> 00:39:21,091
Oh, very flash.

850
00:39:23,972 --> 00:39:27,340
Two hundred pounds? Oh, Andy!

851
00:39:28,810 --> 00:39:31,223
Well, you're not paying him any more, right?

852
00:39:31,312 --> 00:39:34,805
Look, do you want me to carry on
doing my brain in at that bloody place

853
00:39:34,899 --> 00:39:36,731
for the rest of my life?

854
00:39:36,818 --> 00:39:37,899
No, of course I don't.

855
00:39:37,986 --> 00:39:40,899
Right, so, we'll give it a go at weekends

856
00:39:40,989 --> 00:39:43,322
and if it works out,
I'll jack in the day job.

857
00:39:43,408 --> 00:39:45,365
Andy, you can't jack in your day job

858
00:39:45,451 --> 00:39:48,114
without you got something
definite to go to, right?

859
00:39:48,204 --> 00:39:54,576
On a bank holiday weekend, I could make,
what, two, two and a half thousand quid?

860
00:39:54,669 --> 00:39:56,410
Oh, Andy.

861
00:39:58,089 --> 00:39:59,671
You're just a big softy, you are.

862
00:39:59,757 --> 00:40:00,793
Who's to say?

863
00:40:00,884 --> 00:40:04,218
It's a risk, I admit that,
but it's a risk worth taking, innit?

864
00:40:05,263 --> 00:40:08,927
I suppose if the worst came to the worst,
we could go on our holidays in it.

865
00:40:09,017 --> 00:40:11,680
That's right,
reconvert it to an ordinary caravan.

866
00:40:13,479 --> 00:40:15,687
Stick a couple of bunk beds in it …

867
00:40:16,649 --> 00:40:18,060
have a little bunk up.

868
00:40:19,152 --> 00:40:20,313
Yes, please.

869
00:40:24,991 --> 00:40:26,277
Hey …

870
00:40:26,409 --> 00:40:28,116
Hey, how about …

871
00:40:28,328 --> 00:40:32,447
how about,
"Orthopaedic, 500 quid, you know?"

872
00:40:32,540 --> 00:40:34,327
Bouncing up and down on his bed.

873
00:40:34,417 --> 00:40:37,080
- Orthopaedic, you know?
- Orthopaedic, you know?

874
00:40:37,253 --> 00:40:38,494
Aw.

875
00:40:40,089 --> 00:40:42,752
You wanna watch out for Aubrey
in that kitchen.

876
00:40:43,301 --> 00:40:44,917
He'll come up behind you
with a cucumber.

877
00:40:46,387 --> 00:40:50,176
Listen, I don't think it'd be a cucumber
he'd be coming up behind me with.

878
00:40:50,475 --> 00:40:51,886
Maybe you fancy him, I dunno.

879
00:40:51,976 --> 00:40:54,434
Are you joking? I'm not that desperate.

880
00:40:55,438 --> 00:40:56,974
Oh, bless him.

881
00:40:57,482 --> 00:40:59,189
I feel sorry for him actually.

882
00:40:59,984 --> 00:41:01,691
He's not a bad bloke, Aubrey.

883
00:41:02,946 --> 00:41:04,608
- What you doing?
- What?

884
00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:07,322
I like it. Do it again.

885
00:41:07,408 --> 00:41:09,070
I never did anything.

886
00:41:11,663 --> 00:41:12,824
Go on then.

887
00:41:15,667 --> 00:41:18,284
- Has Nicola come to bed yet?
- Yeah, I think so.

888
00:41:21,339 --> 00:41:25,379
I tell you what, Andy,
she gets me in a right state, that girl.

889
00:41:27,011 --> 00:41:30,846
I heard meself shouting at her this morning
and I thought, "This isn't me."

890
00:41:31,683 --> 00:41:34,300
I don't recognise meself, you know?
It's horrible.

891
00:41:35,186 --> 00:41:36,722
Good job they're not identical.

892
00:41:36,813 --> 00:41:38,896
Oh, blimey, yeah.

893
00:41:40,733 --> 00:41:42,019
I used to think …

894
00:41:43,486 --> 00:41:46,149
"Oh, it'd be so nice
to go to discos together

895
00:41:47,782 --> 00:41:49,819
"and bring their boyfriends home."

896
00:41:50,743 --> 00:41:52,325
Oh, well, there you go.

897
00:41:54,831 --> 00:41:56,288
Buttered muffins.

898
00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:58,498
What?

899
00:44:47,670 --> 00:44:49,036
All right, my friend?

900
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,166
Don't run.

901
00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:02,682
More colour.

902
00:45:04,395 --> 00:45:05,806
Chop chop!

903
00:45:09,817 --> 00:45:12,059
- You happy in your work, chef?
- Over the moon, mate.

904
00:45:12,153 --> 00:45:14,486
Someone's gotta do it.
In this place it happens to be you.

905
00:45:37,136 --> 00:45:40,504
Yeah, you are a little chunker.

906
00:45:40,890 --> 00:45:45,351
You got two little chunky cheeks
and you've got two little chunky legs

907
00:45:45,436 --> 00:45:47,428
and you're lovely, yeah.

908
00:45:47,521 --> 00:45:50,810
And you're gonna grow up to be a boxer.
Yeah, a big boxer or a wrestler.

909
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:53,108
I bet you're just like your dad, eh?

910
00:45:53,194 --> 00:45:56,062
- Are you just like your daddy?
- Do you have anything in navy?

911
00:45:56,155 --> 00:45:59,398
Navy, yeah. Listen, take no notice of me,
I get all carried away,

912
00:45:59,492 --> 00:46:01,779
- cos mine are grown up now.
- I don't want any pastels.

913
00:46:01,869 --> 00:46:07,661
No, that's right, yeah. Cos you are going
to a wedding, yeah. A little bird told me.

914
00:46:07,875 --> 00:46:09,332
So, let's have a look what we got.

915
00:46:09,418 --> 00:46:13,412
Now, there's that little outfit, that's French,
but it's a little bit girly, isn't it?

916
00:46:13,506 --> 00:46:15,122
We need something more sophisticated.

917
00:46:15,216 --> 00:46:18,425
More sophisticated, yeah,
cos he's not a girly boy, is he?

918
00:46:18,511 --> 00:46:20,468
D'you know what I mean,
he's more a boy's boy.

919
00:46:20,554 --> 00:46:22,420
You couldn't mistake him for a girl.

920
00:46:22,515 --> 00:46:23,596
No, he's a boy.

921
00:46:23,683 --> 00:46:24,719
Yeah. What's his name?

922
00:46:24,809 --> 00:46:25,845
Nigel.

923
00:46:25,935 --> 00:46:28,427
Oh, bless him, little Nigey-Nigel.

924
00:46:28,521 --> 00:46:30,478
Let's see what we got for you then, Nigel.

925
00:46:30,564 --> 00:46:33,557
Let's have a little look.
That's a bit baby-baby.

926
00:46:33,651 --> 00:46:35,062
Hold on a minute.

927
00:46:35,152 --> 00:46:37,439
That's nice. We sell a lot of them.

928
00:46:37,530 --> 00:46:38,566
I don't think so.

929
00:46:38,656 --> 00:46:41,148
It looks nice on, it really does,
little sailor's outfit.

930
00:47:10,438 --> 00:47:12,805
How's that old boyfriend then, Nat?

931
00:47:12,898 --> 00:47:15,481
What old boyfriend's that then, Steve?

932
00:47:15,568 --> 00:47:16,854
Come on!

933
00:47:17,153 --> 00:47:19,645
I'm single and carefree, thanks.

934
00:47:19,780 --> 00:47:20,941
Yeah.

935
00:47:21,657 --> 00:47:22,943
Wish I was.

936
00:48:16,670 --> 00:48:18,582
You never said you was coming today.

937
00:48:19,173 --> 00:48:21,290
I'm sorry.
I'll go, shall I?

938
00:48:21,384 --> 00:48:22,750
No.

939
00:48:22,843 --> 00:48:25,085
- What's all this?
- What's it look like?

940
00:48:25,179 --> 00:48:26,420
Fucking dump,

941
00:48:27,056 --> 00:48:28,092
like the rest of your house.

942
00:48:28,182 --> 00:48:29,423
Middle class wanker.

943
00:48:32,812 --> 00:48:34,644
- This your old man's?
- Yeah.

944
00:48:34,980 --> 00:48:38,144
- Is he going on holiday?
- No, it's what he wants to be buried in.

945
00:48:38,275 --> 00:48:39,356
What?

946
00:48:39,443 --> 00:48:40,979
Well, come on!

947
00:48:45,908 --> 00:48:47,570
That's all right,
I didn't want a coffee anyway.

948
00:48:47,660 --> 00:48:49,242
- It's a dump, innit?
- Yeah.

949
00:48:50,037 --> 00:48:51,903
What you waiting for?

950
00:48:52,540 --> 00:48:53,747
Go on!

951
00:48:57,586 --> 00:48:59,043
So, what you been doing?

952
00:48:59,171 --> 00:49:00,252
Working.

953
00:49:00,339 --> 00:49:01,875
- Leave it out.
- I have!

954
00:49:02,383 --> 00:49:03,419
What sort of work?

955
00:49:03,509 --> 00:49:04,545
Writing.

956
00:49:04,635 --> 00:49:06,126
- Writing?
- Yeah.

957
00:49:06,220 --> 00:49:07,802
- Writing what?
- A novel.

958
00:49:09,348 --> 00:49:11,806
- What's so funny?
- You writing a novel.

959
00:49:11,892 --> 00:49:15,852
- What's it about?
- Dunno, ain't started it yet.

960
00:49:16,188 --> 00:49:17,645
- Am I in it?
- No.

961
00:49:18,107 --> 00:49:20,144
- Is it autobiographical?
- Course it is.

962
00:49:21,068 --> 00:49:22,309
What you doing?

963
00:49:24,363 --> 00:49:25,979
- Get off.
- No.

964
00:49:40,379 --> 00:49:41,711
Hold on a minute.

965
00:50:00,983 --> 00:50:02,770
Jesus, no.

966
00:50:03,152 --> 00:50:04,233
What?

967
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,232
Not again. It's boring.

968
00:50:06,322 --> 00:50:07,438
Well, I'm not doing it then.

969
00:50:07,531 --> 00:50:09,989
- Well, don't do it.
- Oh, come on!

970
00:50:16,665 --> 00:50:18,122
Here you go.

971
00:50:18,667 --> 00:50:19,874
No, thanks, I've just eaten.

972
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,622
Ha-ha, wise guy!

973
00:50:25,132 --> 00:50:26,794
Lie down then,

974
00:50:28,886 --> 00:50:30,343
you pervert.

975
00:50:46,237 --> 00:50:47,648
Don't stop!

976
00:50:48,155 --> 00:50:49,236
I've had enough.

977
00:50:49,323 --> 00:50:50,484
What?

978
00:50:51,075 --> 00:50:52,816
I can't eat no more, I'm full up.

979
00:50:52,910 --> 00:50:54,572
It's not a joke!

980
00:50:55,704 --> 00:50:56,990
I'm gonna puke!

981
00:50:57,331 --> 00:50:58,742
You're weak.

982
00:51:10,261 --> 00:51:11,502
Are you going then?

983
00:51:12,137 --> 00:51:13,127
No.

984
00:51:13,222 --> 00:51:14,758
Well, you're not staying.

985
00:51:14,848 --> 00:51:17,682
- Thought I could get in there with you.
- No, you won't!

986
00:51:18,060 --> 00:51:19,301
What's the matter with you?

987
00:51:19,395 --> 00:51:20,681
Nothing.

988
00:51:20,771 --> 00:51:22,307
I don't agree.

989
00:51:23,607 --> 00:51:24,643
Hey!

990
00:51:24,733 --> 00:51:27,271
Don't shout, you sexist pig!

991
00:51:28,404 --> 00:51:29,770
Why is shouting sexist?

992
00:51:29,863 --> 00:51:32,606
- Cos that's what men do.
- You're full of shit!

993
00:51:36,370 --> 00:51:38,487
Why is it you never want me to stay?

994
00:51:54,597 --> 00:51:57,385
- What's in this machine, Nicola?
- My bedding.

995
00:51:57,474 --> 00:51:59,090
Not again!

996
00:51:59,184 --> 00:52:02,097
- Why didn't you peg me washing out?
- I'll do it later!

997
00:52:02,187 --> 00:52:04,395
It could've been dry by now.

998
00:52:05,524 --> 00:52:07,561
So, what you been doing all morning?

999
00:52:07,651 --> 00:52:09,859
Sweet Fanny Adams, as usual.

1000
00:52:10,571 --> 00:52:12,904
- Anybody ring?
- Like who?

1001
00:52:13,657 --> 00:52:15,740
Like your granddad for instance.

1002
00:52:15,826 --> 00:52:17,442
- No.
- No!

1003
00:52:18,329 --> 00:52:20,412
Look at Andy on this picture.

1004
00:52:20,497 --> 00:52:22,910
I still reckon he looks like Tommy Cooper.

1005
00:52:26,253 --> 00:52:27,664
What d'you have for your breakfast?

1006
00:52:27,755 --> 00:52:29,496
- A big fry up.
- No, really?

1007
00:52:30,007 --> 00:52:32,624
- Toast!
- I don't believe you, Nicola.

1008
00:52:33,177 --> 00:52:34,839
Can you lend us a couple of quid?

1009
00:52:35,179 --> 00:52:37,262
- What for?
- A packet of fags.

1010
00:52:37,348 --> 00:52:39,510
- No chance.
- Mean cow.

1011
00:52:40,559 --> 00:52:44,018
You're giving your stomach a rest, you
might as well give your lungs a rest an' all.

1012
00:52:45,981 --> 00:52:47,313
So, what have you been up to?

1013
00:52:47,399 --> 00:52:48,685
Nothing!

1014
00:52:49,568 --> 00:52:51,981
Look at the state of you.
Chalk white face.

1015
00:52:52,154 --> 00:52:53,895
Blimey, you look like a ghost.

1016
00:52:54,615 --> 00:52:56,527
You'd frighten the birds, you would.

1017
00:52:58,702 --> 00:53:00,989
No wonder you didn't peg me washing out.

1018
00:53:05,292 --> 00:53:06,908
Oh, never mind, eh.

1019
00:53:27,981 --> 00:53:32,146
I was like you. I started at the bottom.
You know?

1020
00:53:33,529 --> 00:53:36,397
I was on the sink for six weeks
before I got a look in.

1021
00:53:37,866 --> 00:53:40,199
It's all about keeping your eyes peeled.

1022
00:53:41,662 --> 00:53:43,904
These tongues are a pain in the neck.

1023
00:53:44,540 --> 00:53:46,202
Can't get into the crevices.

1024
00:53:47,876 --> 00:53:49,742
Is that a pig's tongue?

1025
00:53:49,837 --> 00:53:51,419
Lamb's tongue.

1026
00:53:51,964 --> 00:53:53,626
Couldn't get a pig's tongue in your mouth.

1027
00:53:53,716 --> 00:53:56,424
- It'd stick in your throat.
- Would it?

1028
00:53:59,638 --> 00:54:01,846
You look quite attractive in white.

1029
00:54:02,391 --> 00:54:03,802
Suits you.

1030
00:54:12,276 --> 00:54:14,142
Those are skins, chuck 'em away.

1031
00:54:23,370 --> 00:54:24,531
Good.

1032
00:54:52,441 --> 00:54:55,559
Hey, you got rhythm, you know.

1033
00:54:56,528 --> 00:54:57,814
Here, have some more.

1034
00:54:58,614 --> 00:55:00,196
You done really well today.

1035
00:55:00,491 --> 00:55:01,572
Have I?

1036
00:55:01,658 --> 00:55:04,196
Yeah. I'm really pleased with you.

1037
00:55:05,704 --> 00:55:08,321
You're quite a tasty little worker,
you know.

1038
00:55:27,976 --> 00:55:30,468
- That's nice.
- It's a bit old-fashioned looking, though.

1039
00:55:30,562 --> 00:55:33,145
Black skirt, white blouse, traditional.
I like it.

1040
00:55:33,774 --> 00:55:37,984
Oh, Andy, me legs are like jelly sticks.
I'm sorry I said I'd do it now.

1041
00:55:38,111 --> 00:55:39,147
Just go for it.

1042
00:55:39,238 --> 00:55:41,981
- Did you wear that to Joan's wedding?
- Oh, blimey, yeah.

1043
00:55:42,115 --> 00:55:44,107
- Oh, poor Joan.
- Poor Donald.

1044
00:55:44,701 --> 00:55:45,908
What about Tracy?

1045
00:55:46,995 --> 00:55:48,827
- I like this.
- Yeah, now you're talking.

1046
00:55:48,914 --> 00:55:50,871
- Yeah, that's the one, innit?
- Yeah.

1047
00:55:50,958 --> 00:55:52,290
I preferred the white.

1048
00:55:52,376 --> 00:55:53,833
Oh, blimey.

1049
00:55:53,961 --> 00:55:55,327
I'm gonna be late!

1050
00:55:56,255 --> 00:55:58,247
Oh, hey, Andy, d'you remember this?

1051
00:56:08,308 --> 00:56:09,674
Did you do us any tea, Wen?

1052
00:56:09,768 --> 00:56:12,681
- There's a chicken casserole in the oven.
- That's nice.

1053
00:56:15,983 --> 00:56:17,064
You hungry?

1054
00:56:17,150 --> 00:56:19,984
Here, I went to this
old girl's house today, right?

1055
00:56:20,070 --> 00:56:22,904
She had her dead dog lying on the sofa.

1056
00:56:23,031 --> 00:56:24,772
- She never?!
- Eh?

1057
00:56:25,033 --> 00:56:27,650
No, the skin, spread out like a rug.

1058
00:56:27,911 --> 00:56:29,618
- Oh, charming.
- Urgh!

1059
00:56:29,705 --> 00:56:32,948
She had arthritic hands.
Couldn't turn her tap on.

1060
00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:34,577
- Thought it was bust.
- Aw.

1061
00:56:34,668 --> 00:56:38,457
I went straight to it, gave it a good twist
and it was perfectly all right.

1062
00:56:38,964 --> 00:56:40,125
What d'you do then?

1063
00:56:40,215 --> 00:56:43,003
I changed her washer for her,
so she didn't look stupid.

1064
00:56:43,093 --> 00:56:45,756
- Oh, that's a good girl.
- Did you charge her a call-out?

1065
00:56:45,846 --> 00:56:49,465
I had to, you know what they're like.
I didn't want to.

1066
00:56:49,558 --> 00:56:52,346
- Where's this then?
- Off the A10 somewhere.

1067
00:56:53,937 --> 00:56:57,226
She said she'd give me some toffee,
only she couldn't find her ration book.

1068
00:56:57,316 --> 00:56:59,729
- Did she?
- Oh, bless her.

1069
00:56:59,818 --> 00:57:01,434
Don't suppose you know
what a ration book is.

1070
00:57:01,528 --> 00:57:04,521
- Course I do!
- Get all sorts in your business, don't you?

1071
00:57:04,615 --> 00:57:06,572
And she kept calling me a good lad.

1072
00:57:06,658 --> 00:57:08,399
- Oh, she never!
- Yeah.

1073
00:57:08,493 --> 00:57:11,986
Well, you should've said to her,
"Listen, I'm a miss."

1074
00:57:12,205 --> 00:57:13,286
Nah, no point.

1075
00:57:13,373 --> 00:57:15,365
More interesting than my job.

1076
00:57:15,459 --> 00:57:16,620
Same every day.

1077
00:57:17,461 --> 00:57:19,669
We had a bloke
slice the end off his finger this morning.

1078
00:57:19,755 --> 00:57:20,996
What, right off?

1079
00:57:21,089 --> 00:57:22,421
No, there was like a flap.

1080
00:57:22,507 --> 00:57:24,214
Urgh! Oh, Andy, don't!

1081
00:57:24,301 --> 00:57:26,008
- Christ!
- A lot of blood.

1082
00:57:26,178 --> 00:57:27,760
No, it was his own fault.

1083
00:57:27,846 --> 00:57:29,633
I've a very good accident record,
as it happens.

1084
00:57:29,723 --> 00:57:30,930
Yeah, we know.

1085
00:57:31,016 --> 00:57:35,602
No, it's true. That's cos I drum it into 'em,
health and safety, health and safety.

1086
00:57:36,355 --> 00:57:38,221
Still, you always get someone showing off,
don't you?

1087
00:57:38,315 --> 00:57:39,305
Yeah.

1088
00:57:39,399 --> 00:57:41,686
- I haven't done me nails!
- Let's leave her in peace.

1089
00:57:41,777 --> 00:57:43,313
She's gotta get ready for a big night.

1090
00:57:43,695 --> 00:57:45,152
And shut the door.

1091
00:57:51,870 --> 00:57:53,281
Oh, Wendy!

1092
00:57:54,957 --> 00:57:56,744
You look fantastic,
do you know that, Wendy?

1093
00:57:56,833 --> 00:57:59,325
Oh, thanks. Only I didn't wanna
let you down, you know?

1094
00:57:59,419 --> 00:58:00,500
You haven't.

1095
00:58:00,587 --> 00:58:02,829
I've had six different blouses on tonight.

1096
00:58:02,923 --> 00:58:04,960
So, as long as you're happy.

1097
00:58:05,050 --> 00:58:07,087
You're superb.

1098
00:58:09,846 --> 00:58:11,587
Is that what you're wearing?

1099
00:58:11,682 --> 00:58:13,218
They lend you out for having soup?

1100
00:58:13,308 --> 00:58:15,516
That's what me mum used to say.

1101
00:58:15,852 --> 00:58:17,684
A-ha, a-ha, a-ha.

1102
00:58:27,781 --> 00:58:28,988
You hungry?

1103
00:58:30,659 --> 00:58:33,072
I'll buy you some chips later.
You know?

1104
00:58:33,161 --> 00:58:34,493
Will you?

1105
00:58:36,999 --> 00:58:38,285
I might.

1106
00:58:47,926 --> 00:58:49,758
- So, you've got tripe souffle.
- Yeah.

1107
00:58:49,845 --> 00:58:50,881
Kidney vol-au-vents.

1108
00:58:50,971 --> 00:58:53,338
Vol-au-vents, yeah,
we had them on me 21st, they're nice.

1109
00:58:53,432 --> 00:58:55,048
- That's with a whole kidney.
- Urgh.

1110
00:58:55,142 --> 00:58:56,303
King prawn in jam sauce.

1111
00:58:56,393 --> 00:58:57,975
Oh, yeah, just the one.

1112
00:58:58,061 --> 00:58:59,927
Chilled brains. They speak for themselves.

1113
00:59:00,022 --> 00:59:01,229
Oh, not brains.

1114
00:59:01,314 --> 00:59:03,647
Prune quiche,
that's one for our vegetarian friends.

1115
00:59:03,734 --> 00:59:04,724
Right.

1116
00:59:04,818 --> 00:59:07,481
- Black pudding and camembert soup.
- Oh, no, don't!

1117
00:59:07,571 --> 00:59:08,687
Boiled bacon consomme.

1118
00:59:08,780 --> 00:59:10,988
Consomme,
that's the same as soup, innit?

1119
00:59:11,074 --> 00:59:13,942
- It's basically the bacon water.
- What your mum gives you when you're ill.

1120
00:59:14,036 --> 00:59:17,370
- And a saveloy on a bed of lychees.
- You got a Chinesey one in there.

1121
00:59:17,456 --> 00:59:19,197
That's hors d'oeuvres, then onto entrees.

1122
00:59:19,291 --> 00:59:21,749
So, this is my main courses type of thing.

1123
00:59:21,835 --> 00:59:24,418
What's that one there,
pork what, pork list?

1124
00:59:25,005 --> 00:59:26,166
Pork cyst.

1125
00:59:26,465 --> 00:59:27,455
Cyst?

1126
00:59:27,549 --> 00:59:29,632
- Yeah.
- Oh, you're joking me?

1127
00:59:29,718 --> 00:59:32,586
- No.
- It's not called cyst?

1128
00:59:32,679 --> 00:59:34,136
Me dad had one of them.

1129
00:59:34,222 --> 00:59:35,338
- Did he?
- Yeah.

1130
00:59:35,474 --> 00:59:36,931
Underneath.

1131
00:59:37,017 --> 00:59:38,508
Hey, cough.

1132
00:59:38,602 --> 00:59:40,093
Aw, bless him.

1133
00:59:40,187 --> 00:59:41,177
What is it?

1134
00:59:41,313 --> 00:59:42,474
It's like a dumpling, you know?

1135
00:59:42,564 --> 00:59:43,554
Oh, I couldn't.

1136
00:59:45,692 --> 00:59:47,684
Then we have duck in chocolate sauce.

1137
00:59:47,778 --> 00:59:49,394
- Yeah.
- Tongues in rhubarb hollandaise.

1138
00:59:49,488 --> 00:59:51,605
Oh, no!

1139
00:59:51,698 --> 00:59:53,234
- Liver in lager.
- Mm.

1140
00:59:53,325 --> 00:59:55,032
And clams in ham.

1141
00:59:55,494 --> 00:59:57,406
That's with a pan-fried
cockle-based sauce.

1142
00:59:57,496 --> 00:59:58,577
Yeah.

1143
00:59:58,663 --> 01:00:00,746
Or quails on a bed of spinach with treacle.

1144
01:00:00,832 --> 01:00:03,916
Or my <i>pièce de résistance,</i>
grilled trotters with eggs over easy.

1145
01:00:04,002 --> 01:00:05,584
Oh, right. What's over easy?

1146
01:00:05,670 --> 01:00:06,751
Stateside.

1147
01:00:06,838 --> 01:00:07,919
Sunny side up, you know?

1148
01:00:08,006 --> 01:00:09,963
Oh, yeah. I like 'em turned.

1149
01:00:10,050 --> 01:00:11,962
Oh, blimey, Aubrey,
I'll never remember all this.

1150
01:00:12,052 --> 01:00:14,920
You'll be fine.
Any problems, refer 'em to me.

1151
01:00:15,013 --> 01:00:16,800
Yeah, but you'll be in the kitchen cooking.

1152
01:00:16,890 --> 01:00:19,132
I'll be in there, out here,
I'll be everywhere.

1153
01:00:19,226 --> 01:00:20,717
I'll be your chef patron, you know?

1154
01:00:20,811 --> 01:00:23,428
You should've had menus printed up
like I told you, right?

1155
01:00:23,522 --> 01:00:25,058
Yeah, yeah, no sweat.

1156
01:00:25,148 --> 01:00:29,142
I want this restaurant to be built
on a one to one, mouth to mouth reputation.

1157
01:00:31,154 --> 01:00:32,361
Would you like a glass of wine, Wendy?

1158
01:00:32,447 --> 01:00:34,484
No, thanks, me stomach's all of a go
with me nerves.

1159
01:00:34,616 --> 01:00:36,073
Go on, it might settle you down.

1160
01:00:36,159 --> 01:00:37,991
Go on then, just half a glass.

1161
01:00:39,830 --> 01:00:41,412
Oh, blimey, I forgot,
I got something for you.

1162
01:00:41,498 --> 01:00:42,989
Have you? Oh, great.

1163
01:00:44,126 --> 01:00:45,492
All right?

1164
01:00:47,295 --> 01:00:48,627
I wanna go for a fag.

1165
01:00:50,882 --> 01:00:51,998
What?

1166
01:00:52,843 --> 01:00:53,959
Now?

1167
01:00:54,803 --> 01:00:56,169
We're busy.

1168
01:00:56,596 --> 01:00:57,837
Are we?

1169
01:00:59,558 --> 01:01:00,639
Go on then.

1170
01:01:00,725 --> 01:01:01,841
Be quick.

1171
01:01:01,935 --> 01:01:03,722
Just have half of one.

1172
01:01:03,854 --> 01:01:06,892
With a bit of luck
I'll get me fortune told later.

1173
01:01:06,982 --> 01:01:08,063
Feel free.

1174
01:01:09,651 --> 01:01:10,858
Got a little card for you.

1175
01:01:10,944 --> 01:01:12,025
Thanks very much.

1176
01:01:12,154 --> 01:01:13,941
From me and Andy and the girls.

1177
01:01:14,030 --> 01:01:16,818
That's fantastic.
That's really brilliant, really marvellous,

1178
01:01:16,908 --> 01:01:20,367
you're a really attractive woman.
Really, thanks very much, really.

1179
01:01:20,495 --> 01:01:21,702
All the best.

1180
01:01:21,788 --> 01:01:23,154
Good luck.

1181
01:01:23,498 --> 01:01:24,659
Thank you.

1182
01:01:32,132 --> 01:01:33,498
We are now officially open!

1183
01:01:33,592 --> 01:01:35,458
Blimey, sorry, sorry!

1184
01:01:48,690 --> 01:01:50,147
As far as I'm concerned,

1185
01:01:50,233 --> 01:01:53,226
football died
the day Arsenal won the double.

1186
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:55,403
That's right, yeah.

1187
01:01:55,488 --> 01:01:56,774
What was they?

1188
01:01:56,865 --> 01:01:58,857
- Workhorses.
- Boring buggers, ain't they?

1189
01:01:58,950 --> 01:02:01,158
Whereas the Spurs double team,
they was artists.

1190
01:02:01,244 --> 01:02:02,951
They was artists.

1191
01:02:04,623 --> 01:02:07,616
Twenty-one quid a week they got,
can you imagine?

1192
01:02:07,709 --> 01:02:09,917
What do they get today? Millions.

1193
01:02:10,003 --> 01:02:12,245
Then they got their backhanders
on top of that, ain't they?

1194
01:02:12,339 --> 01:02:15,047
Poncing round the penalty area
with their handbags.

1195
01:02:15,133 --> 01:02:16,590
Prima donnas.

1196
01:02:16,676 --> 01:02:19,043
Oh, he kicked me, ref.

1197
01:02:23,350 --> 01:02:25,763
Brown, Baker …

1198
01:02:25,852 --> 01:02:26,933
Henry …

1199
01:02:27,020 --> 01:02:28,431
Blanchflower …

1200
01:02:28,521 --> 01:02:29,887
- Danny boy.
- Yeah.

1201
01:02:30,607 --> 01:02:32,690
He was the architect of the modern game,
you know.

1202
01:02:32,776 --> 01:02:34,392
That's right, yeah.

1203
01:02:34,486 --> 01:02:36,478
Norman, MacKay …

1204
01:02:36,571 --> 01:02:37,778
- Jones …
- Jones …

1205
01:02:37,864 --> 01:02:38,980
- White …
- Smith …

1206
01:02:39,074 --> 01:02:42,442
- Alan, Dyson.
- Yeah! Come on you Spurs!

1207
01:02:42,827 --> 01:02:44,910
John White, what a player, eh?

1208
01:02:44,996 --> 01:02:46,237
Yeah.

1209
01:02:46,331 --> 01:02:50,621
I used to have a little picture of him
on my wall, ringed in black.

1210
01:02:50,710 --> 01:02:51,996
Tragedy.

1211
01:02:52,337 --> 01:02:53,828
What a way to go.

1212
01:02:53,922 --> 01:02:55,003
Struck by lightning.

1213
01:02:55,090 --> 01:02:56,581
On a golf course.

1214
01:02:56,675 --> 01:02:58,166
What a waste, eh?

1215
01:03:00,387 --> 01:03:01,719
You want another?

1216
01:03:02,681 --> 01:03:04,013
Yeah, all right.

1217
01:03:04,808 --> 01:03:06,140
Want something with it?

1218
01:03:06,226 --> 01:03:07,933
Yeah, rum and black.

1219
01:03:08,019 --> 01:03:09,351
Large one?

1220
01:03:09,437 --> 01:03:10,848
- Yeah, all right.
- Yeah.

1221
01:03:17,654 --> 01:03:22,240
See, the thing is, people don't like
to venture out too early, do they?

1222
01:03:22,325 --> 01:03:24,408
No, not on a Tuesday, no.

1223
01:03:24,494 --> 01:03:30,035
They like to get home, have a bath,
chill out, have their tea,

1224
01:03:30,917 --> 01:03:32,579
and then go out to eat.

1225
01:03:32,669 --> 01:03:34,410
Did you put an advert in the paper?

1226
01:03:34,504 --> 01:03:36,837
Mmm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1227
01:03:38,174 --> 01:03:39,836
No, I didn't, actually.

1228
01:03:39,926 --> 01:03:41,918
You should've had some
little cards printed then.

1229
01:03:42,012 --> 01:03:43,628
I could've given them out in the shop.

1230
01:03:43,722 --> 01:03:45,759
I didn't wanna attract
the wrong sort of people.

1231
01:03:45,849 --> 01:03:49,342
Oh, charming, thanks very much, Aubrey!

1232
01:03:50,854 --> 01:03:52,937
Would you like
another glass of wine, Wendy?

1233
01:03:53,023 --> 01:03:54,559
Oh, yeah, go on, all right.

1234
01:03:54,649 --> 01:03:56,140
I'll keep you company.

1235
01:03:59,237 --> 01:04:00,694
Great hands.

1236
01:04:05,827 --> 01:04:07,784
D'you think you'll ever have kids?

1237
01:04:07,871 --> 01:04:08,907
No.

1238
01:04:08,997 --> 01:04:11,580
You're pretty sure for one so young.

1239
01:04:11,666 --> 01:04:14,033
What and look like a tank for nine months?

1240
01:04:14,127 --> 01:04:15,413
Gimme a break.

1241
01:04:15,503 --> 01:04:18,746
Is that all you're worried about,
what you'll look like?

1242
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:20,251
I'd make a good mother.

1243
01:04:20,342 --> 01:04:21,503
Oh, would you?

1244
01:04:21,593 --> 01:04:22,709
Yeah.

1245
01:04:24,429 --> 01:04:26,045
Why, do you want kids?

1246
01:04:26,681 --> 01:04:29,139
Yeah, in the fullness of time.

1247
01:04:29,351 --> 01:04:30,387
Do you?

1248
01:04:30,477 --> 01:04:31,718
Course.

1249
01:04:32,771 --> 01:04:34,888
You've gotta have a boyfriend first.

1250
01:04:34,981 --> 01:04:38,520
Yeah, one does generally need a bloke,
this is true.

1251
01:04:38,777 --> 01:04:40,769
You're not doing very well then, are you?

1252
01:04:41,154 --> 01:04:44,647
I haven't seen your men
exactly queuing up in droves.

1253
01:04:45,283 --> 01:04:46,615
You don't know.

1254
01:04:46,826 --> 01:04:50,661
What, they sneak around here in
the daytime, do they, when no-one's in?

1255
01:04:52,165 --> 01:04:54,077
Anyway, you don't need a bloke
to have a kid.

1256
01:04:54,376 --> 01:04:57,244
I wouldn't fancy
bringing one up on me own.

1257
01:04:57,379 --> 01:04:59,666
It's better to be on your own
than be with a bastard.

1258
01:05:00,006 --> 01:05:04,751
Presumably, you wouldn't choose a bastard
in the first place if you had any sense.

1259
01:05:04,886 --> 01:05:06,377
All men are bastards.

1260
01:05:06,554 --> 01:05:07,590
What?

1261
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:10,923
- They're all potential rapists.
- That's a bit sweeping.

1262
01:05:11,017 --> 01:05:13,259
All men have got the ability to rape.

1263
01:05:13,353 --> 01:05:15,265
They don't all do it, do they?

1264
01:05:15,355 --> 01:05:17,517
If they've got the ability,
they've got the desire.

1265
01:05:17,607 --> 01:05:19,564
That's paranoid rubbish.

1266
01:05:19,651 --> 01:05:21,392
What d'you know about paranoia?

1267
01:05:21,736 --> 01:05:24,194
Not half as much as you do,
I'll give you that.

1268
01:05:26,032 --> 01:05:27,898
You'll find out when you get to America.

1269
01:05:28,326 --> 01:05:30,318
I'm only going on a holiday.

1270
01:05:30,412 --> 01:05:31,493
So?

1271
01:05:31,579 --> 01:05:35,243
What, you think I'm gonna get yanked off
the plane at John F Kennedy Airport

1272
01:05:35,333 --> 01:05:37,620
and be raped and pillaged, do you?

1273
01:05:37,710 --> 01:05:39,417
You've gotta be on your guard.

1274
01:05:40,797 --> 01:05:42,083
D'you hear what I just said?

1275
01:05:42,173 --> 01:05:43,289
What?

1276
01:05:43,383 --> 01:05:45,340
Yanked. Get it?

1277
01:05:46,136 --> 01:05:47,172
What?

1278
01:05:47,262 --> 01:05:49,345
Yanked. America.

1279
01:05:51,391 --> 01:05:52,677
Racist!

1280
01:06:08,908 --> 01:06:10,945
There's another bloody couple coming.

1281
01:06:12,662 --> 01:06:13,778
Yeah.

1282
01:06:14,539 --> 01:06:16,246
Yeah, they're coming this way.

1283
01:06:17,917 --> 01:06:19,078
Definitely.

1284
01:06:19,919 --> 01:06:21,581
Do you want me to tell Paula again?

1285
01:06:22,505 --> 01:06:24,713
Yeah, action stations!

1286
01:06:28,928 --> 01:06:30,009
No.

1287
01:06:31,264 --> 01:06:32,425
Shit!

1288
01:06:37,103 --> 01:06:38,435
Fucking yuppies.

1289
01:06:58,166 --> 01:06:59,282
They went straight past.

1290
01:06:59,375 --> 01:07:00,911
Oh, did they?

1291
01:07:01,127 --> 01:07:02,789
Perhaps they weren't hungry.

1292
01:07:04,923 --> 01:07:06,130
Where's Paula?

1293
01:07:07,133 --> 01:07:09,170
She's sitting on your work surface.

1294
01:07:09,260 --> 01:07:11,252
- Is she?
- Yeah, she's picking.

1295
01:07:13,973 --> 01:07:15,089
Right.

1296
01:07:35,787 --> 01:07:37,528
Don't sit up there, Paula.

1297
01:07:38,414 --> 01:07:39,575
It's unhygienic.

1298
01:07:41,251 --> 01:07:42,583
Cross-infection.

1299
01:07:45,046 --> 01:07:47,538
These stocks are reducing nicely.

1300
01:07:49,217 --> 01:07:53,336
The secret of a great sauce
is a well reduced stock.

1301
01:07:56,432 --> 01:07:58,014
No stock, no sauce.

1302
01:07:59,936 --> 01:08:01,268
Key to the door.

1303
01:08:16,369 --> 01:08:18,201
You're working with a genius.

1304
01:08:19,330 --> 01:08:20,571
D'you know that?

1305
01:08:22,709 --> 01:08:24,701
I'm not just a wanker, you know?

1306
01:08:26,879 --> 01:08:30,247
I could teach you things
you never even dreamed of.

1307
01:08:33,678 --> 01:08:35,010
I'm a magician.

1308
01:08:36,347 --> 01:08:37,929
I want a drink.

1309
01:08:42,353 --> 01:08:45,187
There's plenty of orange juice in there,
help yourself.

1310
01:08:46,274 --> 01:08:47,981
I want some wine.

1311
01:08:49,152 --> 01:08:51,109
I can't have you getting drunk.

1312
01:08:52,363 --> 01:08:54,480
Kitchen's a very dangerous place.

1313
01:08:54,824 --> 01:08:56,156
She's got wine.

1314
01:09:03,249 --> 01:09:07,368
Me and Wendy, we go back a long way,
you know?

1315
01:09:08,671 --> 01:09:10,537
I'm an old friend of the family.

1316
01:09:13,509 --> 01:09:14,590
Mmm.

1317
01:09:23,561 --> 01:09:24,847
Classic nose.

1318
01:09:35,156 --> 01:09:36,272
Here.

1319
01:09:54,550 --> 01:09:55,791
Here.

1320
01:09:57,929 --> 01:09:59,465
Have you seen these?

1321
01:09:59,972 --> 01:10:01,383
What you got there?

1322
01:10:03,768 --> 01:10:05,259
Let's have a look.

1323
01:10:07,647 --> 01:10:10,390
Pocket telly?

1324
01:10:10,483 --> 01:10:11,644
Yeah.

1325
01:10:14,362 --> 01:10:17,776
- Can I have a butchers?
- Feel free.

1326
01:10:21,994 --> 01:10:24,486
Ah, it's good, innit?

1327
01:10:24,580 --> 01:10:25,991
Yeah, neat.

1328
01:10:26,541 --> 01:10:27,998
There we go.

1329
01:10:28,334 --> 01:10:29,495
Hey!

1330
01:10:30,128 --> 01:10:32,495
Leave it out, you pranny.

1331
01:10:33,047 --> 01:10:35,664
- Hey, seen these?
- Give us it, give us it back!

1332
01:10:37,885 --> 01:10:39,877
How much d'you want for that then?

1333
01:10:41,222 --> 01:10:44,932
Well, I could let you have it half price.

1334
01:10:46,686 --> 01:10:48,348
A hundred nicker.

1335
01:10:50,106 --> 01:10:51,472
Nice, innit?

1336
01:10:51,566 --> 01:10:52,682
Yeah.

1337
01:10:52,775 --> 01:10:55,643
Be tasty on the salad wagon,

1338
01:10:55,737 --> 01:10:57,023
wouldn't it?

1339
01:10:57,113 --> 01:10:58,979
Nah, can't afford it.

1340
01:11:00,783 --> 01:11:02,274
What about that hundred?

1341
01:11:03,953 --> 01:11:05,034
What hundred?

1342
01:11:05,163 --> 01:11:07,075
That hundred you never gave me.

1343
01:11:07,165 --> 01:11:11,500
You know, if someone
had turned up with that 25 years ago,

1344
01:11:13,629 --> 01:11:16,793
and said they were bloody Martian, you'd
have had to believe them, wouldn't you?

1345
01:11:16,883 --> 01:11:18,294
Yeah, yeah.

1346
01:11:19,343 --> 01:11:22,051
- So you don't want it?
- No, I don't want it.

1347
01:11:23,514 --> 01:11:24,925
I don't want anything.

1348
01:11:25,016 --> 01:11:26,507
Mean bastard.

1349
01:11:35,151 --> 01:11:38,064
Come on, you bastards, I'm open!

1350
01:11:39,197 --> 01:11:43,567
I'm ready, I'm waiting for you.
This is what you've all been waiting for!

1351
01:11:43,659 --> 01:11:45,321
Come and get it!

1352
01:11:47,371 --> 01:11:52,833
You fishwives, footballers.
You English dickheads.

1353
01:11:55,254 --> 01:11:59,168
Stick to your fish and chips,
go on, go and get cancer!

1354
01:11:59,258 --> 01:12:02,422
Thousand pounds.
Ten thousand pounds.

1355
01:12:02,512 --> 01:12:04,845
- Stop shouting.
- Go on, mate, cook him.

1356
01:12:05,681 --> 01:12:08,219
You working-class morons!

1357
01:12:08,309 --> 01:12:11,097
Go and eat your own shit, go on, go on!

1358
01:12:15,149 --> 01:12:16,265
That is enough!

1359
01:12:16,359 --> 01:12:18,021
- Oh!
- No more!

1360
01:12:19,028 --> 01:12:22,112
Why? Cos you're being a naughty boy.

1361
01:12:23,658 --> 01:12:24,865
Marry me, Wendy.

1362
01:12:24,951 --> 01:12:25,987
What?

1363
01:12:26,077 --> 01:12:27,818
I wanna marry you.

1364
01:12:29,997 --> 01:12:31,238
Now, stop it.

1365
01:12:31,332 --> 01:12:32,413
Aubrey, stop it.

1366
01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:33,786
Get off.

1367
01:12:35,211 --> 01:12:37,168
I love you, you know?

1368
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:39,746
Don't be stupid, right?

1369
01:12:39,841 --> 01:12:42,379
I'm already married.
I'm married to Andy.

1370
01:12:42,885 --> 01:12:45,468
I love Andy, he's my best friend.

1371
01:12:45,555 --> 01:12:48,514
Yeah. Well, we're very fond of you.
Now, you know that.

1372
01:12:48,599 --> 01:12:51,842
I don't care,
I don't care if you're married to Andy,

1373
01:12:51,936 --> 01:12:54,724
you can still marry me.
You don't have to tell him.

1374
01:12:54,814 --> 01:12:57,147
Now, stop it, right. Now, sit down.

1375
01:12:57,733 --> 01:12:59,019
Sit down.

1376
01:13:02,154 --> 01:13:03,486
What you doing?

1377
01:13:03,823 --> 01:13:04,939
Get off me.

1378
01:13:05,032 --> 01:13:06,898
Aubrey, stop it now.

1379
01:13:07,994 --> 01:13:11,829
- I wanna fuck you, Wendy.
- Now, stop talking like that.

1380
01:13:11,914 --> 01:13:15,407
Just stop it, right, cos Andy won't let
me come here again. D'you hear me?

1381
01:13:15,501 --> 01:13:18,994
- He won't.
- I worship the ground you walk on.

1382
01:13:19,088 --> 01:13:21,831
Now, look, you're bending down,
that means you're gonna be sick.

1383
01:13:22,842 --> 01:13:24,583
I'll kiss your feet.

1384
01:13:24,677 --> 01:13:26,589
There might be a bit of doggy
on me shoes,

1385
01:13:26,679 --> 01:13:28,295
and you're not gonna like that,
so get up.

1386
01:13:28,389 --> 01:13:29,505
Nicola.

1387
01:13:29,599 --> 01:13:30,635
What?

1388
01:13:30,725 --> 01:13:32,182
Oh, Nicola?

1389
01:13:33,144 --> 01:13:36,637
Nicola's not here, right?
She's at home, saving the world.

1390
01:13:37,189 --> 01:13:39,727
Now look,
you've got vodka all down your suit.

1391
01:13:39,817 --> 01:13:42,184
That's your best suit,
you bought for tonight, right?

1392
01:13:43,112 --> 01:13:45,525
Know what, I don't want it.
I don't want it.

1393
01:13:45,615 --> 01:13:46,776
What? Sit down.

1394
01:13:46,866 --> 01:13:48,903
I want Andy to have it.

1395
01:13:48,993 --> 01:13:50,359
Andy doesn't want it.

1396
01:13:50,453 --> 01:13:51,694
He is a poor man.

1397
01:13:51,787 --> 01:13:52,994
Andy's got a suit.

1398
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:56,824
No, he can wear it
in that fucking stupid caravan.

1399
01:13:56,918 --> 01:13:58,204
Now, stop that!

1400
01:13:58,419 --> 01:13:59,910
Stupid …

1401
01:14:00,004 --> 01:14:01,245
Behave yourself.

1402
01:14:01,464 --> 01:14:03,831
He can have the suit
cos he's more scruffy than me.

1403
01:14:03,925 --> 01:14:06,087
- What you doing?
- I'm giving him the suit.

1404
01:14:06,177 --> 01:14:08,043
Leave your trousers on, Aubrey.

1405
01:14:08,137 --> 01:14:09,673
Aubrey, leave your trousers on.

1406
01:14:09,764 --> 01:14:11,596
Behave yourself.
Leave your trousers on.

1407
01:14:11,682 --> 01:14:13,799
I love him and they can fit him.

1408
01:14:14,685 --> 01:14:16,051
I'll tell you what …

1409
01:14:17,271 --> 01:14:19,388
What you doing now?
You're gonna fall.

1410
01:14:19,482 --> 01:14:22,816
No, I'm not drunk, right.
I'm not drunk!

1411
01:14:24,570 --> 01:14:26,027
Oh! Stop it!

1412
01:14:26,864 --> 01:14:29,322
Now, behave yourself, right,
you're being silly.

1413
01:14:30,493 --> 01:14:31,904
Aubrey!

1414
01:14:33,996 --> 01:14:35,703
Aubrey, will you stop it?

1415
01:14:35,790 --> 01:14:37,577
- No.
- You're behaving like an idiot.

1416
01:14:37,667 --> 01:14:39,659
- Listen to me.
- No!

1417
01:14:40,127 --> 01:14:41,709
You don't do any more, no.

1418
01:14:41,796 --> 01:14:43,628
<i>♪ No regret rien ♪</i>

1419
01:14:43,714 --> 01:14:45,580
Now stop it, Aubrey!

1420
01:15:29,677 --> 01:15:30,884
Blimey!

1421
01:15:32,221 --> 01:15:33,757
Shame though, innit?

1422
01:15:34,974 --> 01:15:36,636
Come on, Paula, we're going.

1423
01:15:37,018 --> 01:15:38,634
Oh, look at me.

1424
01:15:40,104 --> 01:15:43,142
That's all right,
he'll find them there in the morning.

1425
01:15:43,232 --> 01:15:44,939
Oh, what a night!

1426
01:15:45,735 --> 01:15:48,569
I'll tell you what,
never again.

1427
01:15:50,364 --> 01:15:51,980
What a mistake.

1428
01:15:53,701 --> 01:15:55,363
It's all right, he's only asleep.

1429
01:15:55,453 --> 01:15:58,787
He's not dead.
There's no need to be frightened.

1430
01:15:58,873 --> 01:16:00,535
I'm not frightened.

1431
01:16:00,624 --> 01:16:01,660
Eh?

1432
01:16:01,751 --> 01:16:03,743
Nowt to be frightened of.

1433
01:16:03,836 --> 01:16:05,372
All right.

1434
01:16:05,463 --> 01:16:06,999
Is this your little coat?

1435
01:16:07,590 --> 01:16:09,001
Here's your bag.

1436
01:16:09,717 --> 01:16:11,379
Now, how you getting 'ome?

1437
01:16:12,178 --> 01:16:13,259
Eh?

1438
01:16:13,637 --> 01:16:14,718
Bus.

1439
01:16:14,847 --> 01:16:16,179
Right. Got your fare?

1440
01:16:16,265 --> 01:16:18,131
Where's your little purse, in 'ere?

1441
01:16:18,225 --> 01:16:20,592
- Where's your cigarettes?
- In me pocket.

1442
01:16:20,686 --> 01:16:22,018
Right, come on then.

1443
01:16:24,899 --> 01:16:26,310
What's the matter?

1444
01:16:28,152 --> 01:16:29,188
Eh?

1445
01:16:29,779 --> 01:16:31,486
We're going for chips.

1446
01:16:31,572 --> 01:16:33,780
- Who's going for chips?
- Me and Aubrey.

1447
01:16:34,825 --> 01:16:37,568
Aubrey's in a coma,
he doesn't want any chips.

1448
01:16:37,661 --> 01:16:40,153
He'll be hungry when he wakes up,
won't he?

1449
01:16:40,664 --> 01:16:42,030
Stands to reason.

1450
01:16:43,167 --> 01:16:45,159
All right, I'll buy you chips.

1451
01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:46,834
I don't want no chips.

1452
01:16:46,921 --> 01:16:49,129
All right, well, I won't buy you chips.

1453
01:16:50,007 --> 01:16:51,248
Come on, Paula.

1454
01:16:51,342 --> 01:16:54,176
Look, I tell you what, take your 'at off,
put your coat on.

1455
01:16:54,261 --> 01:16:56,844
We don't wanna frighten people, do we?

1456
01:17:03,938 --> 01:17:05,145
Nicola.

1457
01:17:10,069 --> 01:17:11,651
Oh, blimey, 'ark at 'im.

1458
01:17:13,072 --> 01:17:16,406
Look, I tell you what,
I'll run you to the bus stop, OK?

1459
01:17:18,994 --> 01:17:20,326
Paula,

1460
01:17:21,622 --> 01:17:23,204
are you coming with me?

1461
01:17:24,625 --> 01:17:25,741
I'm stoppin' 'ere.

1462
01:17:28,546 --> 01:17:30,082
You can't stop here.

1463
01:17:34,009 --> 01:17:35,545
Please, Paula.

1464
01:17:38,013 --> 01:17:39,299
Come on.

1465
01:18:04,999 --> 01:18:06,365
Blinking 'eck.

1466
01:18:31,108 --> 01:18:32,315
Andy?

1467
01:18:33,444 --> 01:18:34,605
Andy?

1468
01:18:34,778 --> 01:18:35,894
What?

1469
01:18:37,656 --> 01:18:38,942
What you doing?

1470
01:18:39,033 --> 01:18:40,114
Mmm?

1471
01:18:41,493 --> 01:18:42,654
Tidying up.

1472
01:18:43,037 --> 01:18:44,619
You're not having no lager.

1473
01:18:44,705 --> 01:18:46,697
- Get us a lager, Nat.
- You must be joking.

1474
01:18:46,999 --> 01:18:49,912
You've had enough lager for tonight.

1475
01:18:50,002 --> 01:18:51,368
Get upstairs. What you doing?

1476
01:18:51,462 --> 01:18:53,078
Somebody at the door.

1477
01:18:53,172 --> 01:18:55,129
There's nobody at the door, that's you.

1478
01:18:55,216 --> 01:18:57,048
You'll have Eileen
banging on the wall again.

1479
01:18:57,134 --> 01:18:59,376
- Come on, Dad.
- Where's the lager?

1480
01:18:59,511 --> 01:19:00,752
In the fridge.

1481
01:19:00,846 --> 01:19:02,007
Get up the stairs.

1482
01:19:02,097 --> 01:19:03,508
All right, all right.

1483
01:19:03,641 --> 01:19:05,098
Look at the state of you.

1484
01:19:05,184 --> 01:19:08,473
You've got your best trousers on,
you've got your new shoes.

1485
01:19:08,562 --> 01:19:10,554
Blimey! Now what?
What you doing?

1486
01:19:10,648 --> 01:19:13,061
- Shut the caravan door.
- I shut the caravan door.

1487
01:19:13,150 --> 01:19:14,186
Is he gonna be sick?

1488
01:19:14,276 --> 01:19:17,394
- Don't you be sick on me, Andy.
- Nicola, shut the caravan door.

1489
01:19:17,488 --> 01:19:19,229
- No.
- Come on, let's get you upstairs.

1490
01:19:19,323 --> 01:19:23,067
- Brown, Baker, Henry, MacKay …
- How did it go tonight?

1491
01:19:23,160 --> 01:19:25,243
- Terrible, if you must know.
- Why?

1492
01:19:25,329 --> 01:19:28,697
Tell you later. No, Andy, no,
get in that toilet and do a wee.

1493
01:19:29,667 --> 01:19:34,332
Cor blimey! Look, use the sink,
I don't want me carpet all soaking wet.

1494
01:19:34,964 --> 01:19:36,205
And close the door!

1495
01:19:36,298 --> 01:19:39,257
You've got two daughters!
What's the matter with you?

1496
01:19:39,343 --> 01:19:41,209
That's what's the matter with me,
I've got two daughters.

1497
01:19:41,303 --> 01:19:43,465
- Oh, shut up!
- What did I tell you?

1498
01:19:43,555 --> 01:19:45,592
So, come on then,
what happened at the restaurant?

1499
01:19:45,683 --> 01:19:47,174
How many tips did you score?

1500
01:19:47,268 --> 01:19:50,181
Nothing happened at the restaurant, right,
and keep it out.

1501
01:19:50,771 --> 01:19:52,262
I've had enough for one night!

1502
01:19:52,356 --> 01:19:54,313
I'm up to here with the lot of you!

1503
01:20:25,931 --> 01:20:28,594
You could be dead this morning,
you know, Andy. I'm not kidding.

1504
01:20:28,684 --> 01:20:31,347
All that broken glass,
you might've severed an artery.

1505
01:20:31,437 --> 01:20:33,895
Should've called the police, shouldn't I?

1506
01:20:33,981 --> 01:20:35,973
I feel like Princess Margaret.

1507
01:20:36,066 --> 01:20:38,023
I could've killed you last night.

1508
01:20:38,736 --> 01:20:41,854
I'll drop in on him on my way back
from work, tell him he was out of order.

1509
01:20:41,989 --> 01:20:43,605
- Will you?
- Yeah.

1510
01:20:43,699 --> 01:20:45,782
I suppose I've lost me hundred quid now,
haven't I?

1511
01:20:45,868 --> 01:20:48,827
I'll get it off him.
He's not gonna get away with that.

1512
01:20:49,204 --> 01:20:50,570
Outrageous behaviour.

1513
01:20:50,664 --> 01:20:52,030
I gotta go, Wen.

1514
01:20:52,499 --> 01:20:53,740
See you tonight.

1515
01:20:53,834 --> 01:20:55,200
Yeah, I'll be late.

1516
01:20:55,961 --> 01:20:57,202
Where you going?

1517
01:20:57,546 --> 01:20:59,583
I'm meeting Patsy for a drink.

1518
01:20:59,673 --> 01:21:00,789
You're not?!

1519
01:21:00,883 --> 01:21:01,919
Got you!

1520
01:21:02,009 --> 01:21:04,672
Oh! Get out.

1521
01:21:45,344 --> 01:21:47,006
Come on, let's go up.

1522
01:21:49,056 --> 01:21:50,137
No.

1523
01:21:50,933 --> 01:21:52,094
What?

1524
01:21:52,559 --> 01:21:53,845
Not yet.

1525
01:21:54,436 --> 01:21:55,677
I know you want it.

1526
01:21:56,397 --> 01:21:57,888
- Do I?
- Yeah.

1527
01:21:57,981 --> 01:21:59,142
How d'you know?

1528
01:21:59,233 --> 01:22:00,394
Synchronicity.

1529
01:22:04,655 --> 01:22:06,066
Shut up!

1530
01:22:07,908 --> 01:22:09,274
I don't want it.

1531
01:22:09,368 --> 01:22:10,484
What d'you mean?

1532
01:22:10,577 --> 01:22:11,988
I want you.

1533
01:22:12,663 --> 01:22:13,904
Sentimentalist.

1534
01:22:14,081 --> 01:22:17,665
No, no, no, I come in,
we go straight upstairs, we do it,

1535
01:22:17,751 --> 01:22:20,414
bingo, you're a pain in the arse.
I don't want that.

1536
01:22:20,504 --> 01:22:21,745
I want to see you nice.

1537
01:22:21,839 --> 01:22:24,252
What's nice?
It's only a boring cliché.

1538
01:22:24,341 --> 01:22:27,425
No, nice, nice,
show me a bit of civility, a bit of respect.

1539
01:22:27,511 --> 01:22:29,924
- You don't show me no respect.
- I'm trying to respect you now.

1540
01:22:30,013 --> 01:22:33,381
Trying to treat you like a real person
instead of some fucking shag bag.

1541
01:22:35,477 --> 01:22:36,763
Come on, talk to me.

1542
01:22:37,229 --> 01:22:38,265
What about?

1543
01:22:38,355 --> 01:22:39,687
Anything.

1544
01:22:39,815 --> 01:22:42,523
Anything you think, anything you know.

1545
01:22:43,277 --> 01:22:45,234
- What d'you care about?
- Eh?

1546
01:22:45,654 --> 01:22:48,442
You got all these fucking books upstairs,
<i>Women Who Love Men Too Much,</i>

1547
01:22:48,532 --> 01:22:50,865
<i>Men Who Hate Women,
Women Who Love Women,</i>

1548
01:22:50,951 --> 01:22:53,694
<i>Women In Love, Women's Room,
Female Eunuch.</i>

1549
01:22:54,121 --> 01:22:55,908
Have you read any of that crap?

1550
01:22:55,998 --> 01:22:57,159
- What's it to you?
- Have you?

1551
01:22:57,249 --> 01:22:59,741
- Of course.
- So what have you learned from it?

1552
01:23:02,504 --> 01:23:03,745
That I'm a feminist.

1553
01:23:04,882 --> 01:23:06,293
What's a feminist?

1554
01:23:06,675 --> 01:23:08,792
- Oh, come on.
- No, no, what's it mean?

1555
01:23:08,886 --> 01:23:10,047
Stop being antagonistic.

1556
01:23:10,137 --> 01:23:13,551
I'm not, I'm trying to have
an intelligent conversation with you.

1557
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,848
Are you capable of that? Eh?

1558
01:23:21,690 --> 01:23:23,477
I don't think you are, are you?

1559
01:23:24,651 --> 01:23:25,858
Really.

1560
01:23:26,445 --> 01:23:29,609
A bit vacant, ain't you?

1561
01:23:29,698 --> 01:23:31,280
A bit of an airhead.

1562
01:23:31,366 --> 01:23:33,073
Nothing going on.

1563
01:23:33,285 --> 01:23:34,366
A bit dumb.

1564
01:23:34,453 --> 01:23:35,569
A bit dizzy.

1565
01:23:35,662 --> 01:23:40,828
Dimbo bimbo, dumb blondster, ain't you?
Hello, anyone at home, hello?!

1566
01:23:46,340 --> 01:23:47,581
You're a fake.

1567
01:23:56,141 --> 01:23:57,427
I am intelligent.

1568
01:24:03,148 --> 01:24:04,639
Are you coming upstairs?

1569
01:24:07,569 --> 01:24:08,650
No.

1570
01:24:10,113 --> 01:24:11,820
Well, piss off then.

1571
01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:16,276
All right.

1572
01:24:52,781 --> 01:24:55,740
Blimey, Nicola, look at the state of you.

1573
01:24:57,160 --> 01:25:01,495
You're sitting there like there's a grey cloud
over you. It's like the sun's gone in.

1574
01:25:02,583 --> 01:25:05,451
You've got no energy
cos you don't eat your dinners,

1575
01:25:05,544 --> 01:25:07,251
and you've got no joy in your soul.

1576
01:25:07,337 --> 01:25:08,498
How do you know?

1577
01:25:10,173 --> 01:25:13,507
I know because you've given up.
Cos you're not happy, that's how I know.

1578
01:25:13,594 --> 01:25:15,005
I am happy.

1579
01:25:15,804 --> 01:25:17,591
You've lost all your friends.

1580
01:25:17,681 --> 01:25:19,593
I don't see them
knocking on the door any more.

1581
01:25:19,683 --> 01:25:22,676
I don't want friends.
They disappoint you.

1582
01:25:22,811 --> 01:25:25,599
When you say you wanna change the world,
you're supposed to be political,

1583
01:25:25,689 --> 01:25:27,555
but I don't see you doing anything about it.

1584
01:25:27,649 --> 01:25:30,437
I am political.
Now, shut the door.

1585
01:25:36,533 --> 01:25:37,990
How are you political?

1586
01:25:38,785 --> 01:25:42,449
I read the paper, I watch the news.
I'm more political than you.

1587
01:25:42,748 --> 01:25:44,990
Blimey, Nicola,
we can all watch the telly.

1588
01:25:45,083 --> 01:25:46,995
You should be out there
helping old age pensioners

1589
01:25:47,085 --> 01:25:48,826
and going on marches or whatever.

1590
01:25:48,920 --> 01:25:51,458
Marches are a waste of time.
It's boring.

1591
01:25:51,548 --> 01:25:53,005
If you put your money where your mouth is,

1592
01:25:53,091 --> 01:25:56,255
you should be joining
one of these socialist wotsit groups

1593
01:25:56,345 --> 01:25:59,213
or the nuclear disarmament whatever,
but you don't.

1594
01:25:59,306 --> 01:26:03,220
All you do is sit 'ere in this room staring
at the walls and tweaking and twitching.

1595
01:26:03,310 --> 01:26:05,222
And you're so perfect.

1596
01:26:06,813 --> 01:26:11,308
No, I'm not perfect, but I haven't given up.
I'm still out there fighting.

1597
01:26:12,486 --> 01:26:14,773
And I tell you what, Nicola,
every time I look out that window

1598
01:26:14,863 --> 01:26:18,732
and I see that rusty old caravan sitting there,
do you know what it says to me?

1599
01:26:18,825 --> 01:26:23,286
It says to me there's a man who hasn't
given up either, who's still out there fighting.

1600
01:26:23,372 --> 01:26:26,240
It says to me
there's a man who's getting greedy.

1601
01:26:26,333 --> 01:26:28,495
Greedy? Your dad?

1602
01:26:29,419 --> 01:26:31,786
He's the most unselfish man I've ever met.

1603
01:26:32,422 --> 01:26:34,379
D'you know,
he's up at six o'clock every morning,

1604
01:26:34,466 --> 01:26:38,255
slogging his guts out in a job he hates,
which is more than you do.

1605
01:26:38,345 --> 01:26:40,678
And he still comes home
at the end for the week with sod all.

1606
01:26:40,764 --> 01:26:42,676
I'm not prepared to be exploited!

1607
01:26:44,101 --> 01:26:45,433
Exploited?

1608
01:26:45,519 --> 01:26:47,852
You're not prepared to work, full stop.

1609
01:26:47,938 --> 01:26:51,272
You've accepted Nat as a plumber
and you didn't like that at first.

1610
01:26:51,358 --> 01:26:53,850
No, I didn't, I didn't like it,

1611
01:26:53,944 --> 01:26:56,937
but I can see now I was wrong,
because she's happy.

1612
01:26:57,030 --> 01:26:58,987
I don't know what I wanna do yet!

1613
01:26:59,074 --> 01:27:00,656
Oh, don't you?

1614
01:27:01,118 --> 01:27:03,235
Well, you had your chance, Nicola,
when you were 17,

1615
01:27:03,328 --> 01:27:05,411
when you were at college,
doing your three A-levels.

1616
01:27:05,497 --> 01:27:08,160
You were going great,
then suddenly you stopped.

1617
01:27:08,583 --> 01:27:10,245
You stopped eating, you stopped everything.

1618
01:27:10,335 --> 01:27:14,625
- You ended up eight weeks in the hospital.
- Well, you put me there. I didn't wanna go.

1619
01:27:14,715 --> 01:27:17,332
Oh, for God's sake, Nicola,
you were at death's door!

1620
01:27:17,426 --> 01:27:19,213
You were trying to control my life!

1621
01:27:19,302 --> 01:27:20,463
You were dying!

1622
01:27:20,554 --> 01:27:22,261
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.

1623
01:27:22,347 --> 01:27:23,758
I'd know if I was dying.

1624
01:27:23,849 --> 01:27:26,341
Dr Harris told us
you had two weeks to live.

1625
01:27:32,482 --> 01:27:34,144
You didn't know that, did you?

1626
01:27:37,237 --> 01:27:40,321
Three of us coming home every night
crying our eyes out.

1627
01:27:41,658 --> 01:27:42,944
You were lucky.

1628
01:27:45,871 --> 01:27:47,908
Life's not easy, Nicola.

1629
01:27:47,998 --> 01:27:50,035
I could've given up, right?

1630
01:27:50,125 --> 01:27:51,991
16, I was doing me A-levels.

1631
01:27:52,085 --> 01:27:53,246
What A-levels?

1632
01:27:53,336 --> 01:27:55,999
English and Business Studies,
if you must know.

1633
01:27:56,673 --> 01:27:58,164
Then I got pregnant with twins.

1634
01:27:58,258 --> 01:27:59,794
Well, why didn't you have an abortion?

1635
01:27:59,885 --> 01:28:04,721
Because I didn't want one. Because
I had two little lives growing inside me.

1636
01:28:05,557 --> 01:28:07,924
I don't believe in it.
That's the easy way out.

1637
01:28:09,478 --> 01:28:11,515
Your dad was only 17.
He was at catering college,

1638
01:28:11,605 --> 01:28:14,814
he was working in hotels at night
trying to get a bit extra.

1639
01:28:14,900 --> 01:28:18,393
We got a little flat together,
begged and borrowed, couple of cots,

1640
01:28:20,447 --> 01:28:23,064
and when the two of you were born,
we were thrilled to bits,

1641
01:28:23,158 --> 01:28:24,899
because we had two lovely little babies.

1642
01:28:25,827 --> 01:28:27,819
We came through laughing.

1643
01:28:27,913 --> 01:28:30,826
Don't blame me, I didn't ask to be born.

1644
01:28:30,916 --> 01:28:36,332
I'm not blaming you, Nicola! I just want
you to be happy, that's all, and you're not!

1645
01:28:37,964 --> 01:28:39,921
I wouldn't care what job you did,

1646
01:28:40,008 --> 01:28:42,466
I wouldn't care how scruffy you looked,
as long as were happy.

1647
01:28:42,552 --> 01:28:45,010
But you're not.
Something inside you's died.

1648
01:28:45,430 --> 01:28:46,637
You've given up.

1649
01:28:48,975 --> 01:28:51,592
And if one day,
I could just walk through that door

1650
01:28:51,686 --> 01:28:53,302
and you could look at me
and you could say,

1651
01:28:53,396 --> 01:28:57,561
"Mum, help me please, I don't know what
I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going."

1652
01:28:58,735 --> 01:29:01,899
And I'd say, "Great, because now
we can be honest with each other.

1653
01:29:01,988 --> 01:29:03,650
"Now we can start talking."

1654
01:29:04,115 --> 01:29:05,651
But I'm not in a mess.

1655
01:29:06,993 --> 01:29:08,450
Aren't you?

1656
01:29:09,079 --> 01:29:11,162
You're giving me a problem
when I haven't got one.

1657
01:29:12,207 --> 01:29:14,119
Oh, Christ, Nicola!

1658
01:29:20,048 --> 01:29:23,337
If you hate me so much,
why don't you throw me out?

1659
01:29:24,803 --> 01:29:26,510
We don't hate you!

1660
01:29:27,097 --> 01:29:29,805
We love you, right,
you stupid girl!

1661
01:30:05,802 --> 01:30:06,918
Oh!

1662
01:30:07,762 --> 01:30:09,378
Oh, ah!

1663
01:30:10,265 --> 01:30:11,597
What've you done, you silly sod?

1664
01:30:11,683 --> 01:30:14,767
I think I've broke me ankle.
Jesus, oh-ho, ah-ha!

1665
01:30:14,853 --> 01:30:16,060
Breathe!

1666
01:30:16,146 --> 01:30:17,557
I am breathing, for Christ sake!

1667
01:30:17,647 --> 01:30:19,513
Lay flat, relax.

1668
01:30:19,649 --> 01:30:20,810
I'll be back.

1669
01:30:20,901 --> 01:30:23,439
Neil, where you going? Neil? Neil?

1670
01:30:26,072 --> 01:30:27,233
A spoon!

1671
01:30:27,991 --> 01:30:29,778
A fucking spoon!

1672
01:30:30,785 --> 01:30:32,242
For Christ sake!

1673
01:30:32,329 --> 01:30:35,322
Who dropped this spoon?

1674
01:30:43,798 --> 01:30:45,164
Hello.

1675
01:30:47,010 --> 01:30:48,922
Yeah, speaking, yeah.

1676
01:30:49,012 --> 01:30:50,503
Oh, hello, how are you?

1677
01:30:52,515 --> 01:30:55,053
Oh, blimey, you're joking me.
He hasn't?

1678
01:30:56,561 --> 01:30:58,018
Oh, how did he do it?

1679
01:31:02,025 --> 01:31:04,813
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Brian,
I know I shouldn't laugh.

1680
01:31:05,153 --> 01:31:06,735
Is he all right though?

1681
01:31:07,948 --> 01:31:09,905
Yeah. No, it's all right.
No, I can come over.

1682
01:31:09,991 --> 01:31:11,573
Yeah, straight away.

1683
01:31:11,660 --> 01:31:13,526
All right, thanks for phoning me.

1684
01:31:13,870 --> 01:31:15,236
Aw, yeah, and you.

1685
01:31:15,330 --> 01:31:16,537
All right then.

1686
01:31:16,623 --> 01:31:18,330
Yeah. Ta-la. Bye.

1687
01:31:22,504 --> 01:31:23,790
Nicola?

1688
01:31:41,314 --> 01:31:42,646
Oh, Christ!

1689
01:31:42,732 --> 01:31:44,519
- Hello, Nat.
- Look at the state of him.

1690
01:31:44,651 --> 01:31:45,892
Here you are, take the bag.

1691
01:31:45,986 --> 01:31:47,648
- Take these, Wen.
- Yeah.

1692
01:31:47,779 --> 01:31:49,315
Go on. How you gonna do it?

1693
01:31:49,406 --> 01:31:50,692
I dunno.

1694
01:31:50,824 --> 01:31:52,565
- Oh, blimey.
- Hang on, hang on.

1695
01:31:52,659 --> 01:31:53,900
Take it steady.

1696
01:31:54,494 --> 01:31:55,575
Ooh!

1697
01:31:55,662 --> 01:31:57,244
Ooh. Don't let that door slam.

1698
01:31:57,330 --> 01:31:58,946
- Don't worry, I've got it.
- Right.

1699
01:31:59,040 --> 01:32:01,498
- D'you want a hand?
- No, no, I'll do it meself.

1700
01:32:02,544 --> 01:32:03,660
- OK?
- Yeah.

1701
01:32:03,795 --> 01:32:06,128
Yeah?
Right, here we go.

1702
01:32:06,214 --> 01:32:07,455
Give us those.

1703
01:32:07,549 --> 01:32:08,710
That's it, that's it.

1704
01:32:08,842 --> 01:32:09,923
- Right?
- Yeah.

1705
01:32:10,010 --> 01:32:12,844
- Take it easy, I've got you.
- Right. It's all right.

1706
01:32:13,013 --> 01:32:14,094
Open the gate, Nat.

1707
01:32:14,180 --> 01:32:15,762
- Hold on.
- Go on.

1708
01:32:16,850 --> 01:32:18,591
Don't rush, Andy, right?

1709
01:32:18,685 --> 01:32:19,801
Just take it steady.

1710
01:32:19,894 --> 01:32:20,975
Ah!

1711
01:32:22,355 --> 01:32:25,814
Andy, what you doing?
You're not a greyhound in a race.

1712
01:32:27,736 --> 01:32:29,443
- Take it, Wen.
- I'm trying.

1713
01:32:29,529 --> 01:32:30,770
Get rid of it.

1714
01:32:32,032 --> 01:32:33,148
- Oh!
- All right?

1715
01:32:33,616 --> 01:32:35,858
- Yeah.
- He needs a little doofer, don't he?

1716
01:32:35,952 --> 01:32:37,443
Hold on, I'll get this table.

1717
01:32:37,537 --> 01:32:39,153
That's it, Nat.

1718
01:32:39,664 --> 01:32:41,155
- Here we are.
- Right.

1719
01:32:41,249 --> 01:32:43,081
- That's the job.
- Careful, careful, careful.

1720
01:32:43,168 --> 01:32:45,501
Looks like the royal leg.

1721
01:32:46,838 --> 01:32:50,002
Oh, look at his little face.
Aw, poor Andy.

1722
01:32:50,341 --> 01:32:53,254
Aw, he's been through a lot, you know.

1723
01:32:53,344 --> 01:32:55,757
Hey, listen, how you gonna
get your trousers off?

1724
01:32:55,847 --> 01:32:56,883
Cut 'em.

1725
01:32:56,973 --> 01:32:58,930
Tell you what,
I'll get me pinking shears, right,

1726
01:32:59,017 --> 01:33:00,303
and I'll come up the inside leg.

1727
01:33:01,561 --> 01:33:02,972
Oh, don't make me laugh, Wen.

1728
01:33:03,063 --> 01:33:04,850
How long you gotta have this on for then?

1729
01:33:04,939 --> 01:33:07,181
I dunno, six or eight weeks,
something like that.

1730
01:33:07,275 --> 01:33:08,311
Cushy number.

1731
01:33:08,401 --> 01:33:10,563
Yeah, I wouldn't mind six weeks' holiday.

1732
01:33:10,653 --> 01:33:12,519
It's a damn nuisance, as a matter of fact.

1733
01:33:12,614 --> 01:33:16,073
I was gonna start on the caravan
when I got back from work. It's a pisser.

1734
01:33:16,159 --> 01:33:18,242
Oh, blimey, what about Aubrey?

1735
01:33:18,369 --> 01:33:20,110
- Oh, yeah.
- What about Aubrey?

1736
01:33:21,206 --> 01:33:22,492
Oh, let's leave it.

1737
01:33:22,582 --> 01:33:24,949
Let him stew in his own juice.
I got enough on me plate.

1738
01:33:25,043 --> 01:33:26,705
- Yeah.
- Ain't you going in tonight, then?

1739
01:33:26,795 --> 01:33:28,127
- No.
- Why?

1740
01:33:28,213 --> 01:33:30,000
- Because.
- Where's Nicola?

1741
01:33:30,090 --> 01:33:31,126
Upstairs.

1742
01:33:31,216 --> 01:33:33,583
- Don't she know I had an accident?
- She told me.

1743
01:33:33,676 --> 01:33:34,757
Nicola!

1744
01:33:34,844 --> 01:33:36,085
I'll hang these things up, Andy.

1745
01:33:36,179 --> 01:33:37,215
Hang on, give us it.

1746
01:33:37,305 --> 01:33:38,466
- What?
- Give it here.

1747
01:33:38,556 --> 01:33:40,422
I know what you want.

1748
01:33:40,517 --> 01:33:42,224
You want your little souvenir, don't you?

1749
01:33:42,310 --> 01:33:45,519
- That's the bastard, that's the culprit.
- What?

1750
01:33:45,605 --> 01:33:48,143
Trying to kid us
he slipped on a spoon,

1751
01:33:48,233 --> 01:33:50,395
he was still blooming drunk from last night.

1752
01:33:50,485 --> 01:33:51,726
Leave her.

1753
01:33:54,322 --> 01:33:56,063
I've never known pain like it, Nat.

1754
01:33:56,157 --> 01:33:58,194
- Ain't you?
- Searing pain.

1755
01:33:58,284 --> 01:33:59,946
Did you hear it snap?

1756
01:34:00,036 --> 01:34:01,493
No, I didn't actually.

1757
01:34:02,080 --> 01:34:03,412
Maybe I did.

1758
01:34:03,498 --> 01:34:05,831
- Yeah, I did.
- Did you?

1759
01:34:05,917 --> 01:34:09,536
Yeah, it's like when you break a dry stick
across your knee.

1760
01:34:10,380 --> 01:34:11,587
Know what I mean?

1761
01:34:13,675 --> 01:34:14,756
Oh!

1762
01:34:21,850 --> 01:34:23,091
Nicola?

1763
01:34:23,476 --> 01:34:24,592
What?

1764
01:34:25,436 --> 01:34:26,677
Can I come in?

1765
01:34:28,982 --> 01:34:31,645
Look at that,
an ordinary spoon.

1766
01:34:32,443 --> 01:34:34,025
I never noticed it before.

1767
01:34:35,613 --> 01:34:38,276
Here you are, 1975.

1768
01:34:38,908 --> 01:34:42,072
This spoon was born
when you were seven years old.

1769
01:34:42,287 --> 01:34:43,573
Oh, yeah.

1770
01:34:43,705 --> 01:34:45,116
Just sits in a draw.

1771
01:34:45,999 --> 01:34:49,083
Out of the draw, into the peas,

1772
01:34:49,836 --> 01:34:51,577
stir the custard,

1773
01:34:51,671 --> 01:34:53,913
into the wash, out of the wash,

1774
01:34:54,007 --> 01:34:56,090
on the hooks
with all the other spoons.

1775
01:34:57,051 --> 01:35:00,544
And all the time,
just waiting for the fatal day

1776
01:35:01,055 --> 01:35:03,638
when it can drastically alter
the course of a man's life.

1777
01:35:03,725 --> 01:35:05,432
Don't look dangerous, does it?

1778
01:35:06,186 --> 01:35:09,350
No, you take my word for it,
that is an evil spoon.

1779
01:35:11,107 --> 01:35:13,850
Here you are, look,
put it in a place of honour.

1780
01:35:13,943 --> 01:35:15,229
Keep an eye on it.

1781
01:35:15,653 --> 01:35:17,269
Yeah, I don't trust it.

1782
01:35:20,617 --> 01:35:21,983
Get us some chocolate.

1783
01:35:24,871 --> 01:35:29,457
Tell you what, go and give your face
a little wash, make you feel a bit better, eh?

1784
01:35:29,667 --> 01:35:30,748
No.

1785
01:35:32,212 --> 01:35:35,250
You don't want your dad to know
you've been sitting here crying, do you?

1786
01:35:35,340 --> 01:35:37,582
- He don't wanna see me.
- He does.

1787
01:35:37,675 --> 01:35:40,839
- I'll make him feel worse.
- Don't be so daft.

1788
01:35:43,556 --> 01:35:45,138
I'm a burden to you.

1789
01:35:46,517 --> 01:35:47,553
Listen,

1790
01:35:48,937 --> 01:35:51,145
we gotta turn over a new leaf, yeah?

1791
01:35:51,648 --> 01:35:53,059
Both of us.

1792
01:35:53,608 --> 01:35:54,974
All of us.

1793
01:35:57,654 --> 01:36:01,568
- Come on, have a little cup of tea.
- No, I don't want one.

1794
01:36:02,492 --> 01:36:05,610
Come on, do it for your dad,
he's been asking for you.

1795
01:36:06,621 --> 01:36:07,782
Has he?

1796
01:36:07,872 --> 01:36:09,033
Yeah.

1797
01:36:09,832 --> 01:36:12,620
He's sitting there
with his tongue hanging out.

1798
01:36:12,710 --> 01:36:15,999
You know what he's like,
he wants a bit of tea and sympathy.

1799
01:36:16,798 --> 01:36:18,539
I just want to talk to you.

1800
01:36:20,927 --> 01:36:22,168
Do you?

1801
01:36:32,814 --> 01:36:35,147
- D'you wanna hand, Nat?
- Nah, it's all right.

1802
01:36:36,401 --> 01:36:39,018
Here you are, Andy, give us
a bit of chocolate, don't hog it all.

1803
01:36:39,112 --> 01:36:41,445
- It's all right, plenty for everyone.
- Ta.

1804
01:36:41,906 --> 01:36:43,067
Here you are, Nic.

1805
01:36:43,157 --> 01:36:44,443
- Want a bit?
- No.

1806
01:36:44,534 --> 01:36:45,650
Go on, have a bit.

1807
01:36:45,743 --> 01:36:46,859
No, it's all right.

1808
01:36:46,953 --> 01:36:49,696
- Have a bit, cheer yourself up.
- All right, don't force her.

1809
01:36:49,789 --> 01:36:51,030
Here you are, Nic.

1810
01:36:51,124 --> 01:36:52,365
Thanks.

1811
01:36:56,504 --> 01:36:57,585
Did you go to the travel agents?

1812
01:36:57,672 --> 01:37:02,667
Yeah. I'm going to New York,
Chicago and New Orleans.

1813
01:37:02,760 --> 01:37:06,128
- Ain't you going to Disney?
- No, I want to go interesting places.

1814
01:37:06,222 --> 01:37:09,260
Blimey, fancy going to the States
and not going to Disneyland.

1815
01:37:09,350 --> 01:37:12,514
- Why don't you go, Nic?
- No, it's too big.

1816
01:37:13,187 --> 01:37:16,646
She can go next year.
Get yourself sorted, save up, eh?

1817
01:37:17,734 --> 01:37:20,818
- How's the leg?
- Not too bad, throbbing a bit.

1818
01:37:22,363 --> 01:37:26,027
Only one problem,
I gotta go to the toilet in a minute!

1819
01:37:26,117 --> 01:37:28,359
Eh, go and get your dad a bucket.

1820
01:37:32,332 --> 01:37:33,994
Eh, look at that spoon.

1821
01:37:37,837 --> 01:37:39,999
Just take the weight, that's it, that's it.

1822
01:37:40,089 --> 01:37:41,955
- Blimey, it's heavy, innit?
- Yeah.

1823
01:37:43,676 --> 01:37:45,918
- All right?
- Yeah. Put the pillow behind me.

1824
01:37:48,222 --> 01:37:49,758
- Here you go.
- Right.

1825
01:37:52,018 --> 01:37:53,134
Oh.

1826
01:37:54,020 --> 01:37:55,386
That's it.

1827
01:37:58,191 --> 01:38:00,649
Tell you what, Andy,
good job you're not a horse.

1828
01:38:00,735 --> 01:38:03,398
- Why?
- They'd have shot you.

1829
01:38:04,280 --> 01:38:05,737
Here you are, then.

1830
01:38:08,201 --> 01:38:09,442
Here you go.

1831
01:38:20,004 --> 01:38:22,417
It's good you had that
chat with Mum, innit?

1832
01:38:23,174 --> 01:38:24,710
Get things cleared up.

1833
01:38:26,511 --> 01:38:27,547
Eh?

1834
01:38:29,889 --> 01:38:31,005
Did you tell her?

1835
01:38:32,392 --> 01:38:34,634
- Tell her what?
- Everything.

1836
01:38:35,561 --> 01:38:38,269
- What d'you mean?
- You know what I mean.

1837
01:38:38,689 --> 01:38:39,805
No.

1838
01:38:42,860 --> 01:38:44,067
I'm not deaf.

1839
01:38:45,029 --> 01:38:46,645
I never said you was.

1840
01:38:47,448 --> 01:38:50,191
I've got the room next to yours, remember.

1841
01:38:52,328 --> 01:38:53,944
I can hear you.

1842
01:38:55,581 --> 01:38:57,288
What, playing my music?

1843
01:38:57,667 --> 01:38:59,829
You know what I'm talking about.

1844
01:39:01,170 --> 01:39:02,536
At nights.

1845
01:39:03,297 --> 01:39:05,209
Getting sick and everything.

1846
01:39:05,967 --> 01:39:07,299
I'm not sick.

1847
01:39:07,385 --> 01:39:09,672
- Oh, come on!
- I'm not.

1848
01:39:11,764 --> 01:39:14,097
It's hot, innit?

1849
01:39:20,940 --> 01:39:22,101
I can't help it.

1850
01:39:23,484 --> 01:39:24,725
I know.

1851
01:39:26,112 --> 01:39:28,274
I think we should do something about it.

1852
01:39:28,990 --> 01:39:30,151
Who's we?

1853
01:39:30,241 --> 01:39:31,652
You and me.

1854
01:39:32,326 --> 01:39:33,862
Have you told them about it?

1855
01:39:34,328 --> 01:39:35,409
No.

1856
01:39:36,080 --> 01:39:37,366
Why not?

1857
01:39:37,957 --> 01:39:41,416
Well, I dunno. I suppose I should've.

1858
01:39:41,794 --> 01:39:43,160
Dunno why I didn't.

1859
01:39:44,797 --> 01:39:46,504
Yeah, I do know why.

1860
01:39:46,591 --> 01:39:48,002
Cos I think you should.

1861
01:39:52,889 --> 01:39:55,302
I know what I do is disgusting.

1862
01:39:58,019 --> 01:40:00,011
I am disgusting.

1863
01:40:00,813 --> 01:40:02,600
Yeah, it is disgusting.

1864
01:40:04,275 --> 01:40:07,484
Mind you, I do some
pretty disgusting things meself.

1865
01:40:07,820 --> 01:40:09,482
- Do you?
- Yeah.

1866
01:40:09,572 --> 01:40:11,655
- What?
- Oh, I can't tell you.

1867
01:40:11,741 --> 01:40:13,152
What is it?

1868
01:40:14,160 --> 01:40:16,743
I put my hands down toilets,

1869
01:40:16,829 --> 01:40:19,663
and on a good day,
I might get bitten by a rat.

1870
01:40:25,213 --> 01:40:27,170
D'you want any money?

1871
01:40:27,256 --> 01:40:28,588
Yeah.

1872
01:40:28,674 --> 01:40:29,915
All right.

1873
01:40:30,009 --> 01:40:31,090
Cheers.

1874
01:40:31,177 --> 01:40:32,588
Nah, it's OK.